And as Midnight approaches, this still, small, quiet corner of cyberspace wishes you all the best for the new year.
Another year, another chance to get it right.
See you on the other side...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Here's a quick mention of something that happened way back in May which I don't think I mentioned before:
From FreeRepublic.com
From FreeRepublic.com
OUTNUMBERED British soldiers killed 35 Iraqi attackers in the Army’s first bayonet charge since the Falklands War 22 years ago. The fearless Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders stormed rebel positions after being ambushed and pinned down.
Despite being outnumbered five to one, they suffered only three minor wounds in the hand-to-hand fighting near the city of Amara.
The battle erupted after Land Rovers carrying 20 Argylls came under attack on a highway.
After radioing for back-up, they fixed bayonets and charged at 100 rebels using tactics learned in drills.
Charge ... tactics from drills
When the fighting ended bodies lay all over the highway — and more were floating in a nearby river. Nine rebels were captured.
An Army spokesman said: “This was an intense engagement.”
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Well, it seems someone's been listening to the voices of reason:
Colin Powell says the US's $35m is "just a start"
UK raises it's donation to £50m, while the British public has already donated £25m.
The Queen has pledged to donate a "substantial sum"
And newsreaders have renamed one of the islands affected. Expect news to now come from the island of POOket.
Colin Powell says the US's $35m is "just a start"
UK raises it's donation to £50m, while the British public has already donated £25m.
The Queen has pledged to donate a "substantial sum"
And newsreaders have renamed one of the islands affected. Expect news to now come from the island of POOket.
Every time I hear about it, the death toll increases in the Tsunami disaster. When I went to sleep the estimated total was 80,000. Now it's gone up to 100,000 and will probably continue to increase exponentially.
I'm with the Urban Fox on this one. Our governments need to be sending a shitload more money and aid. £15 million is an insult.
I'm with the Urban Fox on this one. Our governments need to be sending a shitload more money and aid. £15 million is an insult.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Found this list on LotsOfJokes.com. Most of the lists could just as easily be called "How to make yourself look like a complete twat in one easy gesture" like this one for Workplace japes, but this one for Telemarketer annoyance is just the ticket, and I'll be employing these tactics just as soon as the next one rings:
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
And another stolen one. I just had to give in!
The A to Z of me.
A is for age: 31
B is for boyfriend: One time too many.
C is for career: Of my own devising, real soon.
D is for dad's name: James Roland Clement (pity him!)
E is for essential item to bring on an airplane: How would I know? Never been in one.
F is for favorite song at the moment: Anything not containing the word Christmas
G is for girlfriend: Had one too many, or six too few, depending on your point of view.
H is for hometown: Birmingham
I is for instruments you play(ed): Piano, Bugle, Guitar, Penny whistle - all badly.
J is for jam or jelly you like: Orange jelly.
K is for kids: Oh god, yes.
L is for living arrangements: Cohabiting
M is for megalomaniacal: British Gas and CKS domestics are convinced I am
N is for name of your best friend: Outside of family...they've all drifted away, like they have all my life.
O is for overnight hospital stays: Keeping youngest kid company while she had a chest infection two winters ago. Wallowed in the ward bath for an hour. First bath I'd had in years!
P is for phobia[s]: wasps. Much to everyone's amusement.
Q is for quote you like: "Yes sir"
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: nearly 8 years and counting
S is for sexual position: Something involving boots, ropes or chains
T is for time you wake up: 7:30 - 8am
U is for unique trait: A stare that can make people gibber.
V is for vegetable you love: I wouldn't go that far.
W is for worst habit: Intolerance
X is for x-rays you've had: One, at the dentists, a long time ago. My wisdom teeth were fine.
Y is for yummy food you make: Christmas dinner was outstanding. I do excellent Italian and Chinese, too.
Z is for zodiac sign: Gemini
The A to Z of me.
A is for age: 31
B is for boyfriend: One time too many.
C is for career: Of my own devising, real soon.
D is for dad's name: James Roland Clement (pity him!)
E is for essential item to bring on an airplane: How would I know? Never been in one.
F is for favorite song at the moment: Anything not containing the word Christmas
G is for girlfriend: Had one too many, or six too few, depending on your point of view.
H is for hometown: Birmingham
I is for instruments you play(ed): Piano, Bugle, Guitar, Penny whistle - all badly.
J is for jam or jelly you like: Orange jelly.
K is for kids: Oh god, yes.
L is for living arrangements: Cohabiting
M is for megalomaniacal: British Gas and CKS domestics are convinced I am
N is for name of your best friend: Outside of family...they've all drifted away, like they have all my life.
O is for overnight hospital stays: Keeping youngest kid company while she had a chest infection two winters ago. Wallowed in the ward bath for an hour. First bath I'd had in years!
P is for phobia[s]: wasps. Much to everyone's amusement.
Q is for quote you like: "Yes sir"
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: nearly 8 years and counting
S is for sexual position: Something involving boots, ropes or chains
T is for time you wake up: 7:30 - 8am
U is for unique trait: A stare that can make people gibber.
V is for vegetable you love: I wouldn't go that far.
W is for worst habit: Intolerance
X is for x-rays you've had: One, at the dentists, a long time ago. My wisdom teeth were fine.
Y is for yummy food you make: Christmas dinner was outstanding. I do excellent Italian and Chinese, too.
Z is for zodiac sign: Gemini
I tried my best not to nick this one, but I'm weak:
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dad
2. Nick*
3. Bastard**
* - Not my real name, the guy from my dads work who I bought my car off. Dad's invariably called me Nick for years.
** - Part of our more interesting Sex Play (No, I'm not telling)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Nwsy
2. Robin Lithaborn
3. ^Chuckle^
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Determination
2. Ability to keep a relationship together
3. Adaptability
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Life's
2. Too
3. Short
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Thailand - One of my maternal great-grandfathers was from Bangkok. They had to leave the country in a hurry during a coup in 1934. Jury's out on whether he was part of the Royal family and whether he survived.
2. A family name that goes back countless generations (although I haven't got it). I think we have a coat of arms.
3. Geordieland - My paternal grandparents came from there.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Alzheimers
2. Driving (this is gonna change soon)
3. Club wielding mobs.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Room to move
2. Someone to take the kids off my hands
3. Time to catch my breath
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My favourite green "Free your soul" T-shirt
2. Boxers
3. Deodorant
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Deacon Blue
2. The Beatles
3. John Lee Hooker
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Deacon Blue - I will see you tomorrow
2. God, I dunno. I'm being brainwashed by Cbeebies.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Learn to drive
2. Hold down a decent job
3. Tai Chi
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Time to spend with each other
2. Time to be apart from each other
3. Interesting toys
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE*
1. I got conned into having one of my kids
2. I can feel the career clock ticking
3. I am actually a ten year old kid from Alabama
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. What's on their feet (boots good)
2. A face that doesn't resemble my ex
3. A genuine smile
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Drive
2. Give in
3. Put up with corporate bullshit
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. T'internet
2. Reading
3. Gathering knowledge on whichever topic is top of my list today
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Give the kids to someone else for an hour or two
2. Snap my fingers and have the place tidy itself up - a la Mary Poppins
3. Move without the possibility of elbowing a kid in the face
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Owner of Internet Cafe
2. Shop asssitant
3. Owner of PC supplies shop
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Snowdonia
2. Yorkshire
3. New Zealand
THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Dweezil
2. Porche
3. Arthur
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be important
2. Attain wisdom
3. Live in a vastly expensive house
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dad
2. Nick*
3. Bastard**
* - Not my real name, the guy from my dads work who I bought my car off. Dad's invariably called me Nick for years.
** - Part of our more interesting Sex Play (No, I'm not telling)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Nwsy
2. Robin Lithaborn
3. ^Chuckle^
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Determination
2. Ability to keep a relationship together
3. Adaptability
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Life's
2. Too
3. Short
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Thailand - One of my maternal great-grandfathers was from Bangkok. They had to leave the country in a hurry during a coup in 1934. Jury's out on whether he was part of the Royal family and whether he survived.
2. A family name that goes back countless generations (although I haven't got it). I think we have a coat of arms.
3. Geordieland - My paternal grandparents came from there.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Alzheimers
2. Driving (this is gonna change soon)
3. Club wielding mobs.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Room to move
2. Someone to take the kids off my hands
3. Time to catch my breath
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My favourite green "Free your soul" T-shirt
2. Boxers
3. Deodorant
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Deacon Blue
2. The Beatles
3. John Lee Hooker
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Deacon Blue - I will see you tomorrow
2. God, I dunno. I'm being brainwashed by Cbeebies.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Learn to drive
2. Hold down a decent job
3. Tai Chi
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Time to spend with each other
2. Time to be apart from each other
3. Interesting toys
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE*
1. I got conned into having one of my kids
2. I can feel the career clock ticking
3. I am actually a ten year old kid from Alabama
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. What's on their feet (boots good)
2. A face that doesn't resemble my ex
3. A genuine smile
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Drive
2. Give in
3. Put up with corporate bullshit
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. T'internet
2. Reading
3. Gathering knowledge on whichever topic is top of my list today
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Give the kids to someone else for an hour or two
2. Snap my fingers and have the place tidy itself up - a la Mary Poppins
3. Move without the possibility of elbowing a kid in the face
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Owner of Internet Cafe
2. Shop asssitant
3. Owner of PC supplies shop
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Snowdonia
2. Yorkshire
3. New Zealand
THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Dweezil
2. Porche
3. Arthur
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be important
2. Attain wisdom
3. Live in a vastly expensive house
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
My paranoia radar is going off the scale because of this, this and this.
Three posts from bloggers who really should know better on the subject of the recent vote on Identity Cards.
I've not been very interested in the whole issue, so I decided this morning to have a little dig around. I've cast my increasingly bored eye over NO2ID and the draft legislation (That's a link to the PDF file, by the way) in order to get an appreciation of what the main issues are.
This is what I've deduced:
NO2ID is full of exaggerations. In its FAQ's it states the national ID database will hold over 50 different pieces of information on you. In reality, while this is true from a certain point of view, it breaks down to this: Name, Address, Biometric Identification, NI number, Passport number, immigration status and the histories thereof. Big deal. Sainsbury's knows more about me. Sainsbury's has a comprehensive list of everything I've bought, every store I've visited and how much I've spent going back at least three years. It has the capacity to log every item I've bought from every one of a dozen different shops and every time I use my Barclaycard. You can't do that with an ID card. You can't build a comprehensive list of where I've been and what I've done with an ID card. You can with a Nectar card. You wanna be scared? Be scared of that!
So it's not illegal to refuse to carry a Nectar card. Let me ask you this. How many times a day do you seriously think you're going to have to produce your ID card? Does anyone out there seriously think the police are going to bust your door down, or stop EVERYONE they pass and ask them to produce their cards on a daily basis? Get real! The majority of people in this country, and I'm talking scores of millions of people, will NEVER.....EVER.......EVER be asked to produce their cards, and therefore will never NEED one, therefore will never GET one!
The only difference between the information on your ID card and the information you need to hold a credit card, driving licence, passport or loyalty card is the iris scan and fingerprint. Do you realise that? Do you realise that your fingerprints are quite possibly on record anyway? Ever have the police come to your school and show you the fingerprinting kit? ever had your place dusted for prints after a burglary? Your dabs are on record.
Consider how many different cards you carry around with you anyway. Consider the process that happens every time you put your signature on on a credit card stub, or enter your pin at the checkout. Consider how much your cards cost you every year in bank charges.
Paranoia and scaremongering may be wonderful tools for building impressively scary websites, bugging the Government for the sake of "sticking it to The Man" or writing outrageously overblown essays on personal freedom, but please guys, take a few minutes to look at the thing with a touch of pragmatism, a pinch of realism and a hefty dose of cynicism.
No-one's going to GET an ID card anytime soon. No-one you know will ever be asked to produce their ID card, no-one you know will ever be prosecuted for not having an ID card.
The vote in favour of ID cards was nothing more or less than a sympathy vote for Blunkett, one of their own, sacrificed on the bloody, gore splattered altar of the media witch-hunt.
Guys, you're being pathetic. This kneejerk reaction whould be above you. You've all got more brains than to be dragged in by the anti-ID card hype and hysteria. Stop wearing your dissent on your sleeves, grow up and start living in the real world. You seem to have missed the most obvious truth in the world when writing about Parliament.
The truth is this:
You think they're our elected representatives, sent to represent our views in the hallowed halls of Democracy.
You couldn't be more wrong.
They're there to suckle on the teats of the poowerful.
They're there to take advantage of whores and expense accounts.
They're there because they're the most convincing liars, the best at covering their tracks and they've blackmailed the most amount of influential people.
The people we elect to run this country are the people least fit to do the job.
Remember that the next time you get a fit of indignation at the latest crap they come out with. They're all self-serving, power hungry, corrupt pen pushers and I defy anyone to prove me wrong.
Ignore them and get on with running round on your little corporate hamster wheels.
Three posts from bloggers who really should know better on the subject of the recent vote on Identity Cards.
I've not been very interested in the whole issue, so I decided this morning to have a little dig around. I've cast my increasingly bored eye over NO2ID and the draft legislation (That's a link to the PDF file, by the way) in order to get an appreciation of what the main issues are.
This is what I've deduced:
NO2ID is full of exaggerations. In its FAQ's it states the national ID database will hold over 50 different pieces of information on you. In reality, while this is true from a certain point of view, it breaks down to this: Name, Address, Biometric Identification, NI number, Passport number, immigration status and the histories thereof. Big deal. Sainsbury's knows more about me. Sainsbury's has a comprehensive list of everything I've bought, every store I've visited and how much I've spent going back at least three years. It has the capacity to log every item I've bought from every one of a dozen different shops and every time I use my Barclaycard. You can't do that with an ID card. You can't build a comprehensive list of where I've been and what I've done with an ID card. You can with a Nectar card. You wanna be scared? Be scared of that!
So it's not illegal to refuse to carry a Nectar card. Let me ask you this. How many times a day do you seriously think you're going to have to produce your ID card? Does anyone out there seriously think the police are going to bust your door down, or stop EVERYONE they pass and ask them to produce their cards on a daily basis? Get real! The majority of people in this country, and I'm talking scores of millions of people, will NEVER.....EVER.......EVER be asked to produce their cards, and therefore will never NEED one, therefore will never GET one!
The only difference between the information on your ID card and the information you need to hold a credit card, driving licence, passport or loyalty card is the iris scan and fingerprint. Do you realise that? Do you realise that your fingerprints are quite possibly on record anyway? Ever have the police come to your school and show you the fingerprinting kit? ever had your place dusted for prints after a burglary? Your dabs are on record.
Consider how many different cards you carry around with you anyway. Consider the process that happens every time you put your signature on on a credit card stub, or enter your pin at the checkout. Consider how much your cards cost you every year in bank charges.
Paranoia and scaremongering may be wonderful tools for building impressively scary websites, bugging the Government for the sake of "sticking it to The Man" or writing outrageously overblown essays on personal freedom, but please guys, take a few minutes to look at the thing with a touch of pragmatism, a pinch of realism and a hefty dose of cynicism.
No-one's going to GET an ID card anytime soon. No-one you know will ever be asked to produce their ID card, no-one you know will ever be prosecuted for not having an ID card.
The vote in favour of ID cards was nothing more or less than a sympathy vote for Blunkett, one of their own, sacrificed on the bloody, gore splattered altar of the media witch-hunt.
Guys, you're being pathetic. This kneejerk reaction whould be above you. You've all got more brains than to be dragged in by the anti-ID card hype and hysteria. Stop wearing your dissent on your sleeves, grow up and start living in the real world. You seem to have missed the most obvious truth in the world when writing about Parliament.
The truth is this:
You think they're our elected representatives, sent to represent our views in the hallowed halls of Democracy.
You couldn't be more wrong.
They're there to suckle on the teats of the poowerful.
They're there to take advantage of whores and expense accounts.
They're there because they're the most convincing liars, the best at covering their tracks and they've blackmailed the most amount of influential people.
The people we elect to run this country are the people least fit to do the job.
Remember that the next time you get a fit of indignation at the latest crap they come out with. They're all self-serving, power hungry, corrupt pen pushers and I defy anyone to prove me wrong.
Ignore them and get on with running round on your little corporate hamster wheels.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
It's a sad day in Bittorrent land, with the demise of all the major downloading sites.
No explanation has been given for any of the closures, but it's kind of assumed they're running scared from the RIAA and MPAA and their new determination to prosecute sites which distribute Bittorrent files.
Let's not forget that no illegal information is contained on these sites, that Bittorrent is the most efficient way of distributing large files and that it would be remarkably easy to set up a pay service using bittorrent.
Let's also not fail to remember that those two organisations are barely tolerated within the industries they represent and that they have no jurisdiction overseas.
Gits.
No explanation has been given for any of the closures, but it's kind of assumed they're running scared from the RIAA and MPAA and their new determination to prosecute sites which distribute Bittorrent files.
Let's not forget that no illegal information is contained on these sites, that Bittorrent is the most efficient way of distributing large files and that it would be remarkably easy to set up a pay service using bittorrent.
Let's also not fail to remember that those two organisations are barely tolerated within the industries they represent and that they have no jurisdiction overseas.
Gits.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
I did start composing a post on the origins of Christmas and celebrations around the end of the year, but the more I looked around for information, the more I came to the conclusion that everyone has their own way of marking the holiday season, whether it's by giving presents, going to church, being miserable, panicking or celebrating the fact that the year has turned a corner and the days are getting longer again.
So here's a couple of quotes from my favourite christmas songs:
"Merry Christmas you arse, I pray God it's our last"
"The Christmas we get, we deserve"
So here's a couple of quotes from my favourite christmas songs:
"Merry Christmas you arse, I pray God it's our last"
"The Christmas we get, we deserve"
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Zoe Slater about to fall from view completely:
EastEnders actor Michelle Ryan is planning to quit the soap next year to pursue a modelling career, The Sun reports today.
The star, who has played Zoe Slater for four years, will also try to land Hollywood film roles with new agents Peters Fraser and Dunlop.
"She plans to leave EastEnders towards the end of next year," a friend told the newspaper. "Michelle has been in the show since she left school and feels like she needs to spread her wings. Producers will be sad to see her go - she is one of the most popular characters."
Her new agents have high hopes for their newest signing. "They want to turn her into the next Keira Knightley," the source added. "She has already had quite a few offers, but has had to turn a lot down because of her commitment to EastEnders."
You couldn't make it up:
From Digital Spy
From Digital Spy
One half of comedy duo the Krankies was rushed to hospital yesterday after falling from a beanstalk.
Janette Tough - better known as Wee Jimmy Krankie - plunged 20 feet from a giant beanstalk during Wednesday's matinee performance of Jack and the Beanstalk at Glasgow's Pavilion Theatre. Fellow cast member Gary Hollywood was also injured.
"She was at the top of the beanstalk at the end of act one," explained theatre manager Iain Gordon. "The beanstalk goes in the air about five metres, and as they were coming down the beanstalk bent."
Krankie, 57, was rushed immediately to hospital. A spokesman for the Scottish Ambulance Service confirmed: "Wee Jimmy Krankie fell out of the beanstalk on to the stage and was taken to Glasgow Royal Infirmary."
Her current condition is unknown.
Unlikely radio spot no. 16498: James Dean Bradfield is on Dermot O'Leary's Saturday Club on Radio 2. Rawk.
Gotta listen to that one!
Gotta listen to that one!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
I tried to stop myself doing this one, but I just couldn't help it! Nicked off Graham again:
What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Worked in a crap pub. Realised that I could actually build a working Business Plan.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I'm sure I broke them if I did.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nup.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yup. My uncle committed suicide.
What countries did you visit?
Shakespeare country.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A car. Oh look, there it is now.
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't really remember dates that way. The kids birthdays, our holiday, things like that.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual - Gout, IBS, the odd cold, bouts of general malaise. Nothing I couldn't handle.
What was the best thing you bought?
That's a toughie. I really don't know. All our stuff is pretty much equally neccessary and useful. If you stretch a definition, I could say our holiday.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids. They've come on in leaps and bounds and while they're terrors at home, they've acquitted themselves wonderfully at school and nursery.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too many people. Not depressed, but certainly appalled.
Where did most of your money go?
Fucked if I know. Sainsbury's mostly.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The holiday, Selling shitloads of videos on Ebay, the new Steven Donaldson book.
What song will always remind you of 2004?
Nothing really stands out. Stretching a definition, the poem I read at my uncle's funeral will stick with me.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? The same
thinner or fatter? Erm...
richer or poorer? poorer
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sex, worked.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nothing. No regrets.
How will you be spending Christmas?
Spinning like a top.
Did you fall in love in 2004?
Already there.
What was your favorite TV program?
Trek.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anthony Jordan
What was the best book you read?
I've read far too many good books to list here.
What was your greatest musical discovery of 2004?
Hayseed Dixie
What did you want and get?
A job. Shame it was a crap one, bit I got one.
What did you want and not get?
A good job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Super Size Me
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Can't remember. I'll ask C. I was 29...erm...31.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Plenty of money.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
If it's clean, wear it. If it's not clean, wear your coat zipped up.
What kept you sane?
Willpower
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The engineer chick from "Firefly". Yummy.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh go on, have a guess.
Who did you miss?
My uncle. Which is odd because we were never really close, but the nature of his death really hit me.
Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet anyone particularly wonderful this year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Nah, got all them sorted out ages ago.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"War...HUH...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Worked in a crap pub. Realised that I could actually build a working Business Plan.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I'm sure I broke them if I did.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nup.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yup. My uncle committed suicide.
What countries did you visit?
Shakespeare country.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A car. Oh look, there it is now.
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't really remember dates that way. The kids birthdays, our holiday, things like that.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual - Gout, IBS, the odd cold, bouts of general malaise. Nothing I couldn't handle.
What was the best thing you bought?
That's a toughie. I really don't know. All our stuff is pretty much equally neccessary and useful. If you stretch a definition, I could say our holiday.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids. They've come on in leaps and bounds and while they're terrors at home, they've acquitted themselves wonderfully at school and nursery.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too many people. Not depressed, but certainly appalled.
Where did most of your money go?
Fucked if I know. Sainsbury's mostly.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The holiday, Selling shitloads of videos on Ebay, the new Steven Donaldson book.
What song will always remind you of 2004?
Nothing really stands out. Stretching a definition, the poem I read at my uncle's funeral will stick with me.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? The same
thinner or fatter? Erm...
richer or poorer? poorer
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sex, worked.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nothing. No regrets.
How will you be spending Christmas?
Spinning like a top.
Did you fall in love in 2004?
Already there.
What was your favorite TV program?
Trek.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anthony Jordan
What was the best book you read?
I've read far too many good books to list here.
What was your greatest musical discovery of 2004?
Hayseed Dixie
What did you want and get?
A job. Shame it was a crap one, bit I got one.
What did you want and not get?
A good job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Super Size Me
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Can't remember. I'll ask C. I was 29...erm...31.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Plenty of money.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
If it's clean, wear it. If it's not clean, wear your coat zipped up.
What kept you sane?
Willpower
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The engineer chick from "Firefly". Yummy.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh go on, have a guess.
Who did you miss?
My uncle. Which is odd because we were never really close, but the nature of his death really hit me.
Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet anyone particularly wonderful this year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Nah, got all them sorted out ages ago.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"War...HUH...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
Saturday, December 11, 2004
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