One of the funniest shows on the radio is Punt & Dennis's "It's been a bad week" on Radio 2. This week's edition has been a goldmine of excellent stories, including this one:

17 year old Greg Bulmarsh applied for a job at his local McDonalds restaurant. This is his application form:

NAME: Greg Bulmarsh

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriousley, whatevers available. If i was in a position to be picky, i wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovits style severance package. If thats not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than i'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it-notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would i be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS TIME?: living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes, absolutely

SIGN HERE: Aries

He got the job.