All done...

You shouldn't be here!

Update your RSS feeds to:

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This blog, hosted on Blogger's servers, will no longer be updated. I'm now posting to the real blog on lithaborn.co.uk.

The change is going ahead right now

Normal service will be resumed just as soon as we're sure what is normal anyway.

Ok, so it's more than tempting...

I signed up for some of that webspace today. No-one's in the office until tomorrow, so it's then that I'll finalise things.

Not sure if you'll see a huge amount of difference, or if I'll try and get Movable Type working, or one of the blogging platforms that comes with the webspace, but this time you'll have lots of notice.

The URL will always point to a blog of some description, so if the RSS feed suddenly stops working, or doesn't show a new post for a few days, you know where I'll be.

This is almost too tempting...

I think I've mentioned before that I run the website for the Church I grew up in.

In the process of finding hosting for the site, I found a rather usefully titled site - Churchhosting.co.uk. Well, how could I resist?

Also, they invoice their customers, which I've found is quite a rare occurrence.

So anyway, everything was set up and working just fine, so I didn't bother with the site's Control Panel too much.

It's working, don't try and fix it. Fair play.

Well, tonight I decided to have a bit of a click around to see what some of the nifty buttons do.

I discovered a huge amount of site applications - like a forum, chatroom server, powerful picture gallery, guestbook, PHP tools...you name it!

What I'd forgotten is that this hosting company doesn't just cater for Churches, but also for individuals looking for a not-for-profit hosting package.

So in short, I could buy myself some webspace instead of piggybacking this here blog off the Church webspace, all for a pittance.

Problem is, we don't just have Easter fast approaching, we have a spate of family birthdays to budget for and right now that pittance would knock a noticable hole in our finances.

Fucking damn tempting, though...

Quick thoughts...

I'm in a reflective mood. Just been for a walk to liberate some money from a nearby cashpoint and got kinda thoughtful about various things. More on that later.

On my way to the bank, I happened to be listening to The Division Bell. At what point between Momentary Lapse of Reason and this album did Floyd become U2 lite? I had to check I'd uploaded the right directory. Not even close to what I was expecting. Odd.

Apparently Prime Minister Brown has committed an extra fuckwad of money to continuing our subjugation of other countries. I totally missed the Budget this year for the first time in ages. I did however catch the headlines about it being hailed as a "Budget for Education". So tell me, has he reformed the Student Grant rules? Has he scrapped all this Tuition Fee bollocks? I'll have to have a look and find out. I'm guessing the answer is "no".

If anyone out there knows how to get a Belkin wireless LAN card working on Windows Millenium, do drop me a line because it's pissing me off.

I'm tired, it's been a really nice spring day and tomorrow we're off to the Chinese for lunch with my mother-in-law, her sister and various others. Goody.

We got our new Cable box. Yay.

Another quiz...

This time it's rather an interesting one, though. Thanks to Sheerie, a fellow hedgewitch who dropped by to comment on the Star Trek post.

You scored as Celtic Pantheonic Pagan. Your answers leaned very close to that of the Celtic Pantheon. Very popular now among pagans, the Celtic Gods seem to draw those who are sensitive and insightful, but also very passionate about their beliefs. Many Pagan Holidays are named for this pantheon and here is where you'll find many stories on Horned God, Green Man, and Druids. You likely either have been or want to visit Stonehenge one day. Many Arthurian legnds include references to the Celtic faith, as well. Celtic Pantheonic Pagan 85% Zoroastrian Pagan 80% Egyptian Pantheonic Pagan 65% Roman Pantheonic Pagan 60% Shamanic Pagan 55% Ecclectic Pagan 55% Eastern Pagan 45% Kabbalistic Pagan 45% Greek Pantheonic Pagan 40% Sumerian, Babylonian, and Mesopotamian Pagans 40% Norse Pantheonic Pagan (Asatru) 35% Catholic (Pagan?) 10% What kind of Pagan are you? created with QuizFarm.com

I'm back...!

OK, so I never went away. Someone at Telewest fucked up and only cut our TV and Phone.

I'm not gonna complain!

Well, anyway, the first sign that they'd actually acknowledged that we'd given them our last twenty quid was when I got through to the speaking clock this morning.

Oh good I thought, we can catch up on some stuff on Teleport tonight!

Apart from one thing...when I was forcing the...let's say slightly recalcitrant Scart plug into the back of the Cable Box, said box slipped out of my hand and bounced neatly off the top of the TV.

The engineer will be popping round tomorrow morning with a new box, which is a bit annoying as we were planning on embarking on some quality shagging...

No, we will not be propostioning the Cable Guy, even if it turns out to be a large chested Cable Lass...

Well...

Back to where it all began...

Genesis - From Genesis to Revelation

Bloody 'ell!

OK, I guess everyone's seen the images of Peter Gabriel dressed up as a sunflower, or daisy or whatever, but I hadn't ever realised just how much of a hippie band Genesis started out as.

This album comes at you direct from the Age of Aquarius, summer of love, commune living days of the 60's and a bigger slice of real honest to goodness hippie groove you could not hope to find.

I was shocked - truly shocked, but then my recent overexposure to Pink Floyd can probably account for some of this: imagine wading through tar, traversing still-smoking battlefields, then falling headlong into a field grown high with wild flowers, bathed in late summer sunshine and dancing naked with the beautiful people. Culture shock?! Heavy, man...

Where's the radio friendly bland pop meanderings of the 80's? It's fair to say that when you're talking about complete and total 180 degree turnarounds, Genesis is there at the top of the heap.

If you're not quite sure of my opinion of this record yet, let's just say that as an old hippie myself, I loved it.

Next up: Nursery Cryme

Any Star Trek fans out there...?

Over at Ain't It Cool, there's a rather lengthy and quite fascinating essay on the contents of a script that's been hovering around the Trekverse for some time...

Starfleet Academy.

Learn about what Kirk, Bones, Spock and Scotty did at school here.

Still hanging on...

Seems someone forgot to switch my internet access off.

Well I'll be paid up to date by midday, so if they cut me off before that I'll be mightily pissed off...

OK, more pissed off than I am now, anyway...

Now that's more like it...

So far I've listened to about 30 minutes of this concert.

At last, the sound has a context. This is a much more natural environment for the sweeping, vast sounds on offer.

I still don't have any particular emotional attachment to the music, but now I've heard it the way it was meant to be heard - played live to screaming fans.

Yes, much better. Wonder what the next hour will bring...

Chicken Licken never thought of that...

A 50 meter long part of the new Wembley roof has fallen down, creating an "Enormous bang".

Oh yeah, I'd be so happy to stand under that roof now!

The "Should" List...

Eagle eyed regulars (all one of you) will recall that I've mentioned my "Should" list a couple of times lately.

This is basically a list of all the things I should do, read, watch or visit before...well, before I die, really.

Anyway, I thought I'd share that list with you - along with the reason they're on the list. It's a bit long, so you'll have to wait until I've coded it into a popup window or something, but that's something I can work on while I wait to be reconnected.

In the meantime, any recommendations?

Point to ponder...

I've been thinking about the MPAA, the RIAA and all these filesharing prosecutions that are going on, and I got to wondering something...

You know all these charity shops, market stalls and car boot sales (not the bootleggers or con artists, but the kids flogging their old Transformers videos) where you can pick up anything by Mantovani or Brother Beyond, or Jane Fonda's Workout video for 50p? Do they pay royalties to the artist? I'm assuming the answer is "no".

And as they don't pay royalties, isn't buying from these people tantamount to taking money out of the artists' mouths? Apart from handing over your money, isn't it very much the same as downloading music or movies from the web? The artists never see the money, the studios never see the money. Isn't there something in the copyright laws about not being able to give away or resell the item without the artist's consent?

Now I wonder how long it'll be before they start prosecuting Oxfam...

It's all about...

Since embarking on my Floydathon, I've been made aware - from multiple sources - of all the intrigue, backbiting and arguments that have peppered the band's history.

The problem is, I don't care.

I've never been one to immerse myself in all the gossip and real lives of the artists I enjoy. Oh, I watch the gossip websites, but not as closely as most. Now and again there'll be a titbit that grabs my attention, but not for more than five minutes.

For me, the music is where it starts and ends - and no, the mystery of why a band's image or sound inexplicably changes doesn't interest me at all. The way I see it, I'll either find out one day, or I won't. In the meantime, if the music's good, I'm happy.

At the end of the day, isn't that what it's all about?

In other news, I've just finished listening to a borrowed copy of E.L.O's "Out of the Blue", which is, let's face it, the perfect incarnation of 70's electronica. what's needed to make this album perfect is to listen to it in this room:

Bloody Telewest...

Touchy and annoyed perator #1 tells us we've got until Monday to pay the last - and most critical - installment that we forgot to pay last month, and we won't get cut off.

Mystified and apologetic operator #2 tells us that actually we'll be already cut off when we wake up on Monday morning and it'll take up to 72 hours for them to register the payment.

All because we were £20 short on the last bill.

This leads me to a number of conclusions:

1) Telewest are officious cunts.

2) I'll be off the radar until Thursday.

3) Time to crack out the Freeview box again.

Play nice, See ya later...

In the air...

Following Stef's suggestion, I'm now taking a slight diversion on my journey through Pink Floyd's back catalogue, with a live show from Sapporo, Japan 1972 and a show from Paris, 1989. I reckon I know what they're going to sound like, but I'm open to be pleasantly surprised.

I might even line up the DVD on my Blockbuster list.

In the meantime, I've decided on a new music marathon to embark on: a group whose lineup and style have changed over the last thirty years, but who have been persistently in the top echelon. A group whose music forms the backdrop to many lives, but which inspires more indifference and derision than love.

Peter Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Phil Collins. The Genesisathon will begin shortly...

Momentary lapse of interest...

The Floydathon wends its weary way to 1987, and A Momentary Lapse of Reason.

This is a return to Floyd's stadium oriented content, with the echo already there. Sweeping guitar interludes and occasional bursts of vocals bring "Wish you were here" to mind. I can well imagine people saying it's Floyd's return to their roots. As a new listener, I wouldn't know, but this is so reminiscent of WYWH that I could easily play them back-to-back and not see the join.

This isn't altogether a bad thing, and I can now see how Floyd get their reputation for performing mindblowing gigs, but does that transfer well into a format that's accessible to the new listener? Does it grab the guy who isn't cranking up his record deck and minutely adjusting his quadrophonic speakers? Can someone who's just stuck this on his walkman to listen to on a crowded bus get as much as the audio geek out of this album?

No. WYWH and Lapse are in danger of alienating the casual listener. Like Judge Dredd the movie, it's one for the die-hards.

Not that I didn't like it, it was OK, but I haven't found a new favourite - not by a long stretch.

Next on my chronological slog through Floyd's back catalogue is Division Bell, which I'm not looking forward to.

Only 42% corrupt..?!

Dilettante You scored 41% Experience, 65% Adventurousness, 66% Kinkyness, and 42% Corrupt!

You have definitly found your way to pleasure. You know what you like and continue to do it. Do not hesitate to continue to push your limits. Do not get stuck only doing what is comfortable. Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves when we push ourselves harder and further on the journey to self discovery. Please remember to rank my test. Thank You

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on Experience You scored higher than 78% on Adventurousness You scored higher than 76% on Kinkyness You scored higher than 89% on Corruption

Link: The Sexual Experimentation Test written by LadyLilithDreams on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Take a chance with a couple of kooks...

The Floydathon gathers pace with The Final Cut.

Well now. Something has happened here that I never thought would. I actually quite like this album.

I know, knock me down with a feather.

Morose, yes. Unrelentingly whiney, yes. But you see, I've never heard an album that sums up my feelings on the real cost of both World War 2 and the Thatcher years better than The Final Cut.

Everything's there, the powerlessness, the horror of seeing the whole country fucked over by the government, the aching frustration...

"Oh Maggie, what have we done..."

I can see why people don't like this album - it's not really the Floyd that's gone before (apart from The Wall, and that doesn't count). This is the stark, bleak work of angry people. They're saying things that people don't want to hear. We don't want to know that the War killed our friends infront of our eyes, we don't want to be reminded the depths of depression we were all feeling in 1983.

The 80's these days means mis-matched clothes, boots over jeans, retro heaven. Forget that the evening news had a section every night on how many factories had closed, how many people had lost their jobs that day. Forget that everything that was built up over the previous 150 years was stripped and sold for vast profit in the space of four years. forget that they tried to tax us for simply being alive...

I've been watching "Our Friends In The North" on DVD for the first time since....oh, god knows when, and it's fascinating to watch all of these threads coming together, cohering into a solid mass of excellent drama - and then to listen to Final Cut - well, it brings the whole feeling of the times back to me.

By the way, I can also heartily recommend listening to this album back-to-back with Bowie's Hunky Dory, which I've just discovered is a thoroughly teriffic album.

Luvvie grub...

Geilgud Shrimp Remoulade, Vivien Leigh's Brandy Snaps, Dickie Dahling's Chicken Risotto...

All courtesy of the recently rediscovered Theatre Recipe Book, a copy of which I'd quite like to own.

Not what you'd expect...?

Madison Young is one of my favourite fetish models, whose Livejournal I found some time ago.

It's fascinating to be constantly reminded that these girls you're used to seeing poured into latex outfits and covered in ropes also have regular lives - a bit like getting your head around the idea that A-list celebs shop at tesco's just like we mere mortals do.

Anyway, through the links on her LJ I discovered a new site from the Blog of Ms Marina who describes herself as "Resident Headmistress of Purgatory at Bar Sinister, fetish model, artist, singer, ex-professional gypsy, masseuse, world traveler, potential nymphomanic."

What kind of site could this woman have linked to on her Live Journal?

Well, here it is, freaky, slightly OTT, but reassuringly totally work safe!

When will they ever learn...

Ian Blair's in trouble again, this time for recording phone conversations.

Why is he still there?

Floydathon Pt 2 - Wish You Were Here...

Well, it's an improvement. No electronic birdies for a start.

You can tell fromt he first ten minutes that this would be a terriffic album to hear live. But then, there are more fulfilling ways to spend six hours.

Because six hours is about the amount of time it would take to allow the Floyd time enough to wring the very last drop of nuance out of its' throbbing, interminable stadium worthy music.

Actually, "worthy" is the word I'd use to describe WYWH. While Ummagumma is the epitome of Experimental Prog Rock, WYWH is it's slightly calmer older brother. The evolution of Floyd's singular style couldn't be more obvious. WYWH is everything Prog Rock should be - forty-five minutes of gadumbadumba................whee...........howl..................wooo interrupted with two verses of sung accompaniment.

Listening to it is to be transported back to 1975, looking out over the ocean, Cinzano in hand, with "Shine on you crazy diamond" floating out of your 8-track and over the water.

Background music, like Dinner Party Jazz could never be.

Next time: The Final Cut

Well, that was a waste of time...

some people will do anything to avoid being found guilty of genocide.

Tweet...tweet...tweettweet..fucking shut up already...!

Is my lasting impression of listening to Ummagumma.

If I'm being generous, I can see what they were trying to do here. It's not the first "experimental" music I've listened to and it's far from the worst, but there's experimental and experimental - there's people like Jean Michel Jarre who compose music in a classical mode using electronic instruments, there's Philip Glass and his sound sculptures, and then there's people who just fuck about with their instruments to se what cool noises they can make.

Ummagumma is not composed in a classical mode. Neither is it sculpture. Indeed, I've heard more harmonious noises coming from a room full of toddlers.

I se what they're trying to do...no, really I do. Recreating nature with electronic instruments, delivering shocks and all that. It's very much a product of its age and hasn't aged well. There are redeeming moments: "Set the controls for the heart of the sun" isn't too bad, and there are moments of interest in "Grantchester meadows", but these are very much in the minority, a bit like listening to Holszt's "Planets Suite" and liking "Jupiter" because it's got that Rugby song in it.

In fact, it's a LOT like that. Only the Planets Suite is good. In fact, I fancy listening to it now...

I should say at this point that I didn't listen to the live part of the album, and I only managed 40 minutes of the other part.

Previously, I have tried to listen to "The Wall" and "Dark side of the moon" and also found them very hard to connect with. I don't particularly want to limit myself to just the "greatest hits", Floyd is on my "should" list, so I'm going to keep trying other albums to see if there's one or two I can connect with.

So anyway, Ummagumma is a Thumbs Down, The Wall is a Neutral and Dark Side of the Moon - Don't shoot me - is another Thumbs Down. Don't know what's next, the Ummagumma download was included in a set of 19 albums, so I'm spoilt for choice.

Still not liking Prog Rock, still got those tweeting birds ringing in my ears. But I will update my opinion of the genre. Strike "pretentious" and replace with "Portentious".

Unintelligible, pretentious, self-indulgent fretwank...

Is my considered opinion of Prog Rock, but with Dave - sorry, DavID - Gilmour and Pink Floyd currently darlings of the music world once again, I thought I'd take another foray into enemy territory.

For research purposes only, the otherwise visciously expensive Ummagumma was duly downloaded and transferred to ye olde MP3 player.

My review of said album may well be short, sharp and to the point, but you can look forward to it anyway, can't you?

(Also residing on the player is Jean Michel Jarre's "Equinoxe", Cypress Hills' "Greatest Hits From The Bong" and a selection from my "misc" folder, including Bis, the Pistols, Cream, Stevie Wonder and Simon and Garfunkel - four and a half hours crammed into 120Mb - so, not much of a mix really)

First rule of engineering...

You may recall, dear reader, this post where I mentioned our tempramental radiators.

Well, today I fixed them.

Last night was a particularly cold night at Lithaborn Towers, and as the thermometer in the living room dipped below 17 celcius, I consented that something was, indeed, fucked.

I checked circuit breakers, I tapped flues, I changed fuses, I flipped switches, I burned matches.

Nada.

By then it was 3am, so I lit the fire and went to bed.

With one kid off to school and the other eating breakfast, I was free to resume my investigations this morning. Didn't get very far though, as younger anklebiter is going through her "superglue" phase - as in "sticking to me like superglue".

Anyway, we sat in the warm glow of the fire all day, ignoring the frost thickening on the rest of the house until 3pm.

When, in a flash of frustration-born inspiration, I aimed a punch at the thermostat.

So, anyway, everything's fine now...

Yam yam...

Yesterday we discovered that Sweet Potato chips ("fries" for my American reader) - with garlic, oregano and coriander - are really really nice.

Unfortunately, my IBS means they go straight through me, but hell, they're too nice not to have again!

I wanna know how I got some wrong!

Totally Radical! You scored 83%!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on eightoniums

Link: The improved 80's Test written by chimpwithalimp on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Yep, a lot of questionnaires...

I demand more booze...

1. First time you ever drank?

Aged 14 or so, sneaking nips of Martini while coming home for lunch.

2. More of a beer or liquor person:

depends what mood I'm in. Never lager.

3. What type of drunk are you?

Open, giggly, stupidly brave.

4. How many on your Top 8 have you been drunk with?

None.

5. How many on your Top 8 have you taken care of when they are drunk?

Ditto.

6. Favorite Drink:

Waggledance, Jim Beam. Whatever looks like the nicest bitter on Trad taps while in a pub.

7. Beer:

Better than the acidic shit they call fermented apples, and vastly better than any lager.

8. Shot:

Tequila!

9. Top 5 Favorite beers (if applicable)

Waggledance
Pedigree
Bass
Banks's mild (Original)
Brew XI

10. More of a Bar or Club person:

Bar, then on to a club. Chance would be a fine thing these days.

11. Alcohol you absolutely despise:

Vodka. Yechh!

12. Ever bought a stranger a drink:

Sort of. I was trying to get off with her, y'see.

13. Been thrown out of a bar/club for fighting?

Nope. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

14. Been thrown out of a bar/club for anything else?

I have a memory of being thrown out of the women's toilets with my ex, but I may have imagined it. It was more than a decade ago and I've tried to forget everything I did with her...

15. Ever make out with someone in front of a cheering crowd:

Yep. We were nine years old.

16. Most amount of money spent in one bar/club:

Oh, never more than about £50.

17. Ever buy a round for random people:

Once, I think.

18. Best band you've seen while drinking:

Sepultura.

19. Ever danced on the bar/stage:

Nope. No-one should be subjected to that particular horror.

20. Best town/area to drink in:

Anywhere with heavy metal playing.

21. Do you forget a lot of what happens during a night of hard drinking?

Not really. Even though I might want to.

22. Ever been drunk around your parents?

Well, there was the year a friend bought me a bottle of whiskey which i got through over the run up to Christmas, then found the 3%ABV 250ml bottles my parents handed round on Christmas Day had the effect of sobering me up...

23. Name the people on your friend's list that you definitely think are going to repost this.

Anyone who wants to!

C'mere...

FACT: You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship". The Loverboy Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm) Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment. You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too. Your exact opposite: The Billy Goat Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving. ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: Lithaborn

Gonna have to work on lowering that percentage...

Very Kinky You are 33% pure!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 15% on purity

Link: The 100 Point Sexual Purity Test written by ocicat on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Cumbrian Wind Farm rejected...

So this...

Looks better than this?


Fucking idiots.

Now your baby can look as cool as your iPod...

Hands up, who wants one?

Hope you weren't eating...

From Digital Spy (I've gone right off my dinner):

Richard Madeley reveals his sordid past

Richard Madeley has revealed that he used his fame to bed dozens of women before marrying Judy.

Madeley revealed that after splitting from his first wife he felt free to go wild: "I enjoyed the fruits of being a young single man on TV," he is quoted as saying in The Daily Mail.

"The effects of being a TV personality were obvious. I sowed a lot of f***ing oats and loved it."

However, since meeting Judy he has put this past behind him and only has eyes for his wife of 20 years.

"If you don't have a strong sexual appetite for each other then it never works," Madeley told the April issue of GQ magazine. "And we do."

Noooo!

Frak you, Motherfrakker

You scored as Capt. Lee Adama (Apollo). You have spent your life trying to life up to and impress your Dad, shame he never seemed to notice. You are a stickler for the rules. But in matters of loyalty and honour you know when they have to be broken. Capt. Lee Adama (Apollo) 56% CPO Galen Tyrol 56% Tom Zarek 56% Commander William Adama 50% President Laura Roslin 44% Dr Gaius Baltar 38% Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck) 31% Lt. Sharon Valerii (Boomer) 31% Number 6 31% Col. Saul Tigh 13% What New Battlestar Galactica character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Take a look at the Lawman...

A brilliant series ended last night. I've watched them all - some of them twice, and I'll be in the queue when the DVD comes out, too.

I'm a sucker for time-travel stories. Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, Goodnight Sweetheart all have places high on my "Top Shows" list. And "Life on Mars" is a worthy addition.

Can't wait for the next series in the New Year.

Could there be anyone less appropriate...?

Someone please tell me this is just some sick joke...

We've just had the Mother-in-Law over...

How much of a smoker do you have to be to impregnate the smell of smoke into a plastic bag?

This is why I read the Business News...

Five of the United States' busiest ports have been sold to the government of the United Arab Emirates.

Sort of...

The company that owns the ports - P&O (of cross-channel ferry fame) - has been bought by the Dubai-based firm DPW. The deal includes the sale of five US ports - and oddly enough, everyone except President Bush is going fucking nuts over it.

Instead of trying to explain all the ins and outs of what I've been reading today, here's some links to news stories that detail the progression and stupidity of the whole damn thing:

A Reuters article on recent Arabian investments in the US, detailing - amongst other things - Saudi shares in America's biggest Bank and Apple computers, recent investment in Chrystler and DPW's investment in another port-owning company, the CSX Corporation.

An editorial piece from a UAE-based news service, the Khaleej Times, discussing the ports purchase in the context of a time of economical growth in the Middle East. Isn't the pursuit of wealth and the creation of a healthy, prosperous nation one of the US's founding ideals?

Also from Khaleej Times, this report of a radio interview:

"The Oklohoma bombing was carried out by an American. That does not mean Americans are terrorists. There were bombings and killings in Britain, but that does not mean you cannot deal with Britain"

An article on the imminent purchase from Jan 28th. Which rather spits in the face of Bush's assertions that he didn't know about it until Monday.

Al Jazeera's front page. No wonder Bush wanted to bomb them. The big US news is relegated to a minor subheadding.

A report from Media insider site Mediamatters on how US TV has been reporting the news - and the oh-so-surprising bias against anything Arabian.

A talkback board from the Lawrence Journal, Kansas:

"These Saudis have business relations with the Bush family. So is "Reckless Spending George" gaining a kickback? Seems right up his alley...

How many times do we want the Nations security bought and sold?"

Friend or foe? Both at the same time, according to the New York Times.

A fascinating rant from the heart of Bush country, the hilarious and outraged Bayou Buzz has this to say:

"America is not going to deal with terror and we are not going to allow a country to control our ports—especially one with a long history of helping a terror network in its own borders.

You can call this position as being anti-Arab--all you want. We call it doing what is right and what is safe. And, we are not going to be bullied by your one-sided news--not now, not ever."

And now, the shocker:

While all this furore is kicking off about sea ports being owned by UAE-based companies, the US has just invested in a UAE-based SPACEport!

Have this article from Travel Daily News, or this one from Travelvideo.tv, or this one from "the ultimate Middle East business resource".

Finally, voices of reason are being heard in the strangest places - Threatswatch, and of all places, Indymedia!

My take on it? Glaringly obvious anti-Arabian bias for all to see. The rest of the world is watching these senators and news networks throwing their toys out of their prams and they're all either flabbergasted, incredulous or dismissive. And those are pretty much the same reactions I'm having.

Just another bombsite...

Yeah, just another ruined part of Iraq. Another small step on the road to annhiliation and devastation.

Only problem is, it used to look like this:

One of the most holy Shi'ite mosques. Which means that this bombsite will be the catalyst for civil war. Which means the foreign troops will have to stay longer. Which means the fighting will get worse.

I've said it about Palestine and I'm going to say it about Iraq. Why not just get the fuck outta dodge and let them slug it out? Then we can applaud the victors and congratulate them over the vast pile of rubble they've managed to conquer.

Current mood? Despondent.

News roundup...

Some idiot let Ian Brady loose with the crayons. Imagine getting a letter from the man who tortured, abused and murdered your son, being told that he knows where the body you've been bereft of for forty years is located. Can't? Neither can I.

Apparently we live in the best country in the world. Even more apparently, we're the most boring people in the world. Anyone get the feeling we're wasting this wonderful country? Johnny Foreigner thinks so. They also think that the French are the rudest and the Americans are the most ignorant. Sounds about right to me.

Wembley won't be ready for the FA Cup. I couldn't be happier. Birmingham was robbed of its chance to host the new national stadium and since then the construction of Wembley has been a long tale of excess, corruption and incompetence. Here's a question - will it ever be ready?

And on a lighter note...

What can you say?

I've read what others have posted about this, I've read a couple of articles. The reactions I've seen have ranged from plain loopy to scarily idiotic to reasoned and logical.

The only thing I can give you is my honest reaction.

Good.

People like David Irving are the most dangerous people on the planet. We owe it to the people that died to remember why the Holocaust happened. Only by accepting and remembering what happened and why can we ever hope to stop it happening again, and it must never be allowed to happen again. The Holocaust must never be denied.

** Update **

Anyone else noticed the startling similarity between our favourite revisionist historian and former Thatcherite diarist Alan Clark?

I tellya...

If half term lasted a day longer, you'd be dredging the canal for the little darlings.

And Charlie just came up with a rather inventive putdown:

"She's such a slag, she'd fuck a bottle of bees"

Remind me to tell yu about the subject of that particular putdown one day...

Fuckitty fuck...

I was playing with one of my other blogs and killed the template on this blog by mistake when Firefox crashed on me.

So I've taken the opportunity to try out a new template.

I think it looks terribly cluttered, but I'm going to have a play with a couple of things and see if I can't get them looking a bit better.

Added to that, my hits haven't recovered from my enforced server change yet, and I suspect I'm talkng to exactly no-one, but as I've deleted the old site, hopefully people will drift back again soon.

If you have just drifted back, could you think about leaving a comment please - that's if the comment system's working...

Fixed...but...

Well, my web hosting is fixed, but y'know what - I'm going to stay on Blogger's servers until I've found a host that's not going to forget I've paid them.

Tsk.

Oops...

There's something wrong with my web hosting provider, so for the time being, I'm back on Blogger's hosting.

Ah well, these things are sent to test us.

You'll need to reset your RSS feed again, I'm afraid.

Just a quick question, Mr Bush...

If you've got more weapons than anyone else ever, what
do you need more for?

Succinct, ain't it?

Ever feel like just chucking everything up in the air and screaming "I don't give a fuck!"?

Well, if you do, join the club.

Time for bed.

Sproing.

Why do we kid ourselves...?

Do we celebrate Christmas by thanking God for the birth of His Son or do we buy shitloads of presents and decorate a tree?

Do we celebrate Easter by giving thanks for the resurrecton of Christ or by surrounding ourselves with bunnies and eggs?

What exactly is the Christian precedent for celebrating the gathering in of the Harvest?

What Saint's day is celebrated around 20th - 25th June?

What are we celebrating on Hallowe'en? Do we remember the lives of all the various saints who don't have their own day, or do we celebrate the day on which the physical and spirit worlds come together?

Why do we have a day off on Mayday?

The plain fact is that none of these festival days would have been celebrated in Jesus' day, or during the lifetime of the first few generations of Christians.

Through the centuries, various inheritors of the faith have sought to integrate...let's say "Indigenous religions" into their traditions. The forms of worship we have today bear little or no resemblance to what is mapped out as the way to Heaven in the Bible. In short, they're all fucked and they don't know it.

That is ironic, Alanis.

So why on earth do we get all bent out of shape about how terribly unChristian everything's become? I keep seeing words like "supposed to" and "should be" and "expect", but why should we? The UK is now the most secular country in the world. We have the lowest number of Church attendees and the least reliance on what's supposed to be the State religion of any time throughout our history.

The most cursory investigation will reveal the fact that every single significant day in the Christian calendar coincides with an equally significant day in many different Pagan traditions. That same cursory investigation will reveal that it's no accident.

It's time to start acknowledgeing the true roots of these festivals and celebrations and ignoring the cynical, ultimately futile attempts of the church to muscle in on everyone elses act.

Excellent...!

I've just discovered that Flickr has a WAP portal, which includes a photo upload page.

Now, for people like me who are on Virginmobile (who conveniently decided some months ago to do away with their text-to-email server) this is a godsend. I can finally MoBlog properly!

Expect some more pics to make their way onto this page over the next few days...

Right, so...

I am 42 percent fat. Can't tell you how happy I am about that.

So I celebrated with a curry. Not sure I've got the idea of this diet thing just yet.

I jest, of course. The curry was another Katsu - now being saved for special occasions - and all the ingredients (apart from rice and potato) are within the remit of my diet plan, so I've almost stuck to the rules.

Because I can't see a way of cutting down the cooking time working from scratch, I've made up a litre of curry sauce to freeze down and use next time, so now I just need to boil up some potato and carrot and make some fried chicken up. The fridge looks even more impressive now, as I have little tubs of home made vinaigrette and curry sauce all over the place.

Vinaigrette? Yeah. Olive oil, white wine vinegar, juice of half a lime, clove of garlic, chunk of ginger. Tangy, fresh and sweet. Simple and effective. Beats most of the ones I've bought from the shops, I can tell you.

Anyway, Charlie's bogged off to the pool to swim off her curry and I'm settling in for a dose of Holby and "24".

Sigh...and relax...

Soon, my pretty...soon...

The Blueyonder page where customers are notified of impending speed increases has finally been updated. Since November, it's read "To Be Announced" in the "To be completed by" column. Now, it says "End of March".

Fucking long time to wait for something I thought I was getting a month after I signed up for it.

Love me tender...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wanted to write something nice
But I'm crap at poetry

I do try not to be a world weary, cynical sod sometimes, really i do.

We've been together nine years this year and our Valentines night will consist of swimming, TV and curry. Oh yes, it's a comfy, smug married Valentines for us this year.

I bought her a skipping rope with a calorie counter on it, she got me a handheld fat monitor. Romance.

Gotta go, I have some screaming kids to terrorise.

It's the Tony and Gordon show...!

So now we have two Prime Ministers.

Anyone else think Tony will be gone by Christmas? And if he is, what on earth do we make of Gordon? He's been waiting patiently since the late 90's. If he fucks things up, he'll be villified to an extent that'll make Tony look like Mother Theresa.

I dunno. This year should be very interesting, though. It'll be fascinating to watch the transfer of power.

Bits and pieces...

I've been banging on about Lord of the Rings in Mark's comment boxes, following a couple of posts about movie trilogies.

A couple of things have got me thinking.

Firstly, all lists are subjective. We all like different things and when you start asking "What's the best...?", you get all kinds of answers - none of which could be guaranteed to agree with your ideas. I personally like hearing other people's opinions. If it weren't for them, I would never have discovered Firefly, or my most recent music purchases. Anyway, I really don't understand it when people start saying "Tsk, you can't have that choice because I don't like it". Well, I do, but I reject the kind of snobbery and egocentricity that makes people say it. My choices are as valid as anyone elses, and the fact that I don't spend most of my time in a fantasy world of paranoid print and celluloid anasthesia doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to pick a favourite movie.

That aside, the plain fact is that I don't dig horror movies, and I find most sci-fi/fantasy movies rehashed hokum.

"But Why?" I don't hear you cry...

It's not some stupid reason like horror movies scare me - I've never watched one that scared me - it's just that watching people get variously eviscerated using very bad special effects - or even decent effects - leaves me cold. I've watched all the Elm Street films, all the Hellraiser films, The Exorcist and others and none of them - apart from maybe Candyman and Event Horizon - have impressed me at all. They bore me. I can't suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy watching all the pretend blood and gore. Instead, I laugh at how ludicrous it all is.

So that's Horror dealt with.

Why do I, a sci-fi fan, not like a lot of modern sci-fi?

Y'know, I've been reading sci-fi for almost as long as I could read. Age seven, I was bought my first edition of 2000ad. Fourteen years later, I was still reading it. For the whole of my childhood, I lapped up the cutting edge of british science fiction. So when stuff like Universal Soldier, Minority Report, Fifth Element, AI, The Matrix came along, all I could think is: "This is crap". Why? Because I'd had this - and things much better than this - at my fingertips for decades. What it boils down to is this: My imagination is better than what's on the screen. I sit through it and wonder why they didn't do this or that to progress the story more, or make it more exciting, or inspiring. They hype these movies beyond belief, build up the promise of an unmissable experience but ultimately do not deliver.

Look at the movies I do like:

Serenity - hyped as a continuation of the TV series. It delivered. I like.

Lord of the Rings - Promised a faithful interpretation of the books by a lifelong fan. It delivered - although with caveats.

There's others, but you get the point. Promise the heavens and earth, then not deliver and you'll lose my patronage.

What's on my mind this morning?

1) It is FUCKING cold and the radiators aren't working!

2) Now, this makes more sense! Didn't we all know it, really?

3) This, however, is turning out to be just as sick and incomprehensible.

4) So, the US has started justifying its actions by spilling the beans of an attack that was foiled four years ago. Tell me this - how do we know this attack was going to take place? How do we know someone hasn't constructed the event in order to justify Bush's witch hunts?

5) So let's get this straight - in a city you have to PAY to drive around, and then not more than ten miles an hour on average, 4x4's are the car of choice. Idiotic.

'M off to do some shopping. Later alligator.

Have you seen this man...?

Wanted for burgling a pub in Norfolk on Friday.

According to the licensee of the pub, "He didn't look that odd"

Why do I do it...?

Not-so shamelessly nicked from The Extraordinary One

1. First blog you ever read?
That would be Mark or Graham's. At the time, Graham ran a Yahoo group where he, his bro and a select number of friends would post their views on whatever occurred, much like their blog content - only I think Mark was angrier then. When we all discovered blogger, that group kinda died.

2. What inspired you to start your own?
See above!

3.The best and worst about blogging?
Best - Having a soapbox upon which to stand that no-one can knock you off. Oh, and finally keeping a diary going for more than two days...and getting feedback on what I write. Can't top that!
Worst - Changing servers and losing 90% of your traffic and a top rating on Google.

4. Who was the first person to comment on your blog?
Blimey, who knows? Lost in the mists of time, that one.

5. What has been your most popular blog entry?
I got mega hits when I linked to a video of "Show me the way to amarillo" done by a british soldier in Iraq. Also, the post where I commented on an episode of "24" that was dedicated to a recently killed American Marine.

6. If I re-named my blog I would call it?
I think I've renamed it often enough now.

7. If my blog had a theme song it would be?
Gawd...maybe the Wonderstuff song that goes "These words are not my own, they only come when I'm alone"

8. If my blog was a room it would look like?
A comfy sofa in a cluttered living room.

9. Five bloggers I would like to have over for dinner.
Oh, there's far more than five...

10. Two bloggers you would like to set up on a blind date.
Lord Bargain and...oh, someone nice, with no emotional hangups and shit.

11. Somebody I wish had a blog?
Tony Blair, George Bush, Osama Bin Laden.

12. If you were only allowed to read one blog ever again. Which blog would it be?
What? And alienate my other reader? No chance!

13. Is there a fellow blogger you would like to snog/shag/do rude things to? Feel free to name names if you’re game.
I refuse to answer this on the grounds that my words would be used to publicly castrate me shortly after the missus reads them.

14. Discover a blog. Link to a blog that you have recently found, or a blog you have been reading for a while and haven’t blogrolled.
I have yet to add Ditch Monkey and Wanderingscribe to my blogroll - which may be making a return to this hallowed page sometime in the near future (or whenever I can remember my blogrolling account details).

Bloody gorgeous...

Those are home made nuggets, by the way. More child friendly than dep frying a whole breast in one go. The image quality is shit because there was only time to grab my camera phone before the curry was devoured by a virtually evangelical Charlie.

I'm under orders to cook it every day for a month now. I think she likes it!

To compare my effort with the experts, here's a link to a Google image search for "Chicken Katsu Curry".

Fuck me...

That Katsu smells nice!

Pics to follow when it's dished up.

Drool, my minions, drool! Mwahahaha!

Moving...

No, not me. I paid for this bloody URL and I'm not leaving it now. And although we're growign increasingly bored and claustrophobic in this house, we're staying put physically, too.

No, what's moving is a guest entry on a blog I found through this post at Swiss Toni's place.

Now I've only been a guest contributor once - and that was two weeks ago, but I've seen many a foray and read many a group blog, but this post fairly blew me away. I truly believe you'll never find a better, more poignant, more moving guest entry in the whole of blogland.

Please read it.

Wow.

Culinary inspiration

For those who haven't noticed the subtle change, I've opened another blog where I can put all my kitchen related shit.

There's not much over there at the mo, but it'll fill up rapidly, I think.

Kitchen capers...

Feeling a bit listless at the moment. Yes, it probably is the fact that it's almost three am, but there you go.

So anyway, these last couple of days I've had a bit of an experimental thing going on in the kitchen. Yesterday I made a thai marinade and did chicken kebabs, today I found a recipe which looks a bit yicky, but is apparently one of Japan's favourite dishes which I realised I only need ketchup and a big sieve before I can attempt it.

Y'see, I'm quite proud of my collection of herbs and spices. There's a whole cupboard given over to them - turmeric, basil, chives, lemon grass, fish sauce, three different kinds of oil, two different types of chilli, worcester sauce, tons of garlic...you name it, it's in there.

The revelation I've had, though, is to watch a cookery programme and to be able to say "Oh, that looks easy, I'll knock that up tomorrow" - and not just about Spag Bol, or roast chicken or something, we're talking teriyaki or thai fishcakes or green curry paste, or that Japanese favourite I'm going to try out tomorrow - Chicken Katsu Curry.

No, there's no cat in it. It's basically chicken nuggets served with sticky rice and a sweet curry sauce. How many people would never eat that outside of a restaurant?

As I mentioned Spag Bol, I'd just like to point out that a top italian TV chef once made my exact Spag Bol recipe on TV. To be honest, it really couldn't be easier though:

Dry fry (no oil in the frying pan) loads of good mince, drain off the fat, add a tin of tomatoes, fresh garlic, basil and fresh ground black pepper (white pepper is shit, avoid it) and leave it to reduce to a thick sauce. I like shoving a big dollop of tomato paste in (not ketchup) after it's stopped cooking. Thickens the sauce a treat and gives it a really fresh taste. Knocks the crap out of anything I've had out of a jar and you only have one pan to wash up. Now, anyone can do that, right?

Well, I reckon anyone can make any of the stuff I've been cooking lately. But for some reason, people have been going nuts about it. For example, when Charlie completed her Aromatherapy course, they decided to have a little party on their last day, so everyone had to bring some food in. I decided to provide pizzas and garlic bread. Only thing was that there were more vegetarians than meat eaters, so instead of buying a few slives of pepperoni and shoving it on some chopped up french bread with ketchup and cheese, I got a green and yellow pepper, chopped them up all tiny, shoved them on some halved part-baked finger rolls with garlic, spring onion, cherry tomatoes and olive oil. Fair enough, piece of piss, knocked twenty of them out in 45 minutes, job done.

Charlie came home that night with a page full of requests for more! Well chuffed, me.

The kebabs yesterday - thai marinade (coconut milk, lemongrass, garlic, fish sauce), tons of chicken soaking it up for a couple of hours, mushrooms, pineapple, chunks of green pepper, skewer the lot, stick it in the oven, burn yourself removing red hot metal skewers from said oven, get mega compliments and a demand for a load more to take to friends house tomorrow night!

Well, I reckon anyone can do that, but they keep telling me no-one would bother. But it's piss easy, I say. Yeah, for you who's got the knack, they say. Well, everyone goes hungry if I don't, I say. Ah shuddup, you know you're a good cook, they say. Shucks, I say.

And all this because we're on a diet.

Not quite right really...

A bloke who posed as a teacher to make over 10,000 obscene phone calls to children aged between five and thirteen and earned himself the title "Britain's worst paedophile" has been jailed for three years.

Not even a day for each call he made. Seems a little lenient to me, to be honest.

I wonder how the children and their families feel about it.

The Odd Couple remade...?

Doctor Who and Boba Fett are to team up to play two grumpy old men on midafternoon soap "Doctors".

Odder combinations, anyone?

State of the Empire...

This was delayed because I wanted to type it with the new keyboard. Not having to go back and forcibly insert spaces inbetween every single word is wonderful!

Now, I know that there have been far superior appraisals of Bush's State of the Union speech, but they haven't been my words, and as this is my forum to speak about what I want, I'm going to have my say on this load of old bollocks, so there:

"The only way to protect our people - the only way to secure the peace - the only way to control our destiny is by our leadership - so the United States of America will continue to lead."

I've said it before and I'll say it again. With leadership comes responsibility and a duty of care to the rest of the world. America does not show this. I see this statement as proof positive that the US has dropped the banner of being a global police force and will now openly practise aggressive Imperialism.

"Abroad, our nation is committed to a historic, long-term goal - we seek the end of tyranny in our world. Some dismiss that goal as misguided idealism. In reality, the future security of America depends on it."

What about the security of other contries? I realise this is one vast exercise in propaganda and national backslapping, but he's only just said that America leads the world. If that's the case, then they must provide security - and say so, loudly - for the rest of the world, too.

Oh yes, and whose definition of tyranny are they using?

"Dictatorships shelter terrorists, feed resentment and radicalism, and seek weapons of mass destruction."

Excuse me, but doesn't the US do that too? Well, yes they do!

"At the start of 2006, more than half the people of our world live in democratic nations. And we do not forget the other half - in places like Syria, Burma, Zimbabwe, North Korea, and Iran - because the demands of justice, and the peace of this world, require their freedom as well."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our next five States.

"They seek to impose a heartless system of totalitarian control throughout the Middle East, and arm themselves with weapons of mass murder. Their aim is to seize power in Iraq, and use it as a safe haven to launch attacks against America and the world."

Again, isn't that what America's trying to do, too? To provide a safe haven from which to launch attacks against...erm...who's left? Oh yeah, China.

"Lacking the military strength to challenge us directly, the terrorists have chosen the weapon of fear. When they murder children at a school in Beslan - or blow up commuters in London - or behead a bound captive - the terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the violent to inherit the Earth. But they have miscalculated: We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it."

This is a fascinating passage. Isn't it standard military strategy to wage a guerrilla war against an overwhelming enemy? Now, quite apart from the abominable atrocities, how exactly is anyone supposed to stand up against the US, if not through such tactics? Are we supposed to imagine that the US would be magnanimous when negotiating under a flag of truce? They have pledged to rid the world of radical Islam. What if radical Islam forbore from blowing the Capitalist pigs up and simply stuck to ruling a handful of willing countries? What they see as religious justice - shariah law and soforth - the US tends to see as oppression and "human rights violations". To my mind, that brooks no compromise. I can't see a situation where the US would ever negotiate peace with these people, which means of course that the "war on terror" will just carry on and on and on and on and...

"America rejects the false comfort of isolationism. We are the Nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire. Once again, we accept the call of history to deliver the oppressed, and move this world toward peace."

Fuck off! Fuck right off and take your insulting revisionist bullshit with you. There are monuments, mass graves and memorials all over this city, all over Belgium, all over Germany, all over Europe which tell the story of how the peoples of those countries fought and died in the name of their own liberty! In one sentence, Bush has denigrated and undermined the noble deaths of millions of non-Americans.

That is the single most disgusting thing I've heard come out of his mouth.

And George? Not everyone who rejects the American way of life is oppressed. some of us are simply far more civilised.

"The road of victory is the road that will take our troops home."

Um, haven't you just said that you wouldn't retreat to your own borders? Doesn't that mean that there will be troops that will never come "home"? Well, there's a fair few who definitely won't. But hey, they're the honoured dead, aren't they? We should be proud they died in the glorious name of the American Empire...oh sorry, I mean "Democracy".

"Along the way, we have benefited from responsible criticism and counsel offered by Members of Congress of both parties. In the coming year, I will continue to reach out and seek your good advice."

Don't. Make. Me. Laugh.

"A sudden withdrawal of our forces from Iraq would abandon our Iraqi allies to death and prison - put men like Bin Laden and [Abu Musab] al-Zarqawi in charge of a strategic country - and show that a pledge from America means little."

Strategic? Strategic for what? You're not facing any palpable threat from anyone in the general neighbourhood, are you? Russian republics that spend all their time fighting within themselves? The indian subcontinent which is pretty much doing the same thing? The only strategic strength Iraq has is as a doorway into other middle eastern countries. Other...oil rich...middle eastern countries. But they're not there to sieze the oil, are they? So why mention Iraq's strategic strength?

"Democracies in the Middle East will not look like our own, because they will reflect the traditions of their own citizens."

Thank fuck for that. Imagine a world dominated by American values and politics. Jeez. Of course, I don't believe it for a second.

"The Iranian government is defying the world with its nuclear ambitions - and the nations of the world must not permit the Iranian regime to gain nuclear weapons.

Defying the world? I don't think so. By the way, if no-one is going to be allowed nuclear technology in the middle east, what are they going to use for power and fuel once their oil runs out? Just wondering, like. Solar energy? Hydro? Wind power?

Here's a thought, why not just abandon everywhere from Egypt to India and move them all to America. There's a plan!

"We show compassion abroad because Americans believe in the God-given dignity and worth of a villager with HIV/Aids, or an infant with malaria, or a refugee fleeing genocide, or a young girl sold into slavery. We also show compassion abroad because regions overwhelmed by poverty, corruption, and despair are sources of terrorism, organized crime, human trafficking, and the drug trade."

Like bollocks you do. The American state does next to nothing in all of these categories. They rely instead on private donations or broker deals that bankrupt the countries in question. That's when they're not encouaging the situation in order to profit from the lucratve trade opportunities.

"In recent years, you and I have taken unprecedented action to fight Aids and malaria, expand the education of girls, and reward developing nations that are moving forward with economic and political reform."

Much as I hate to admit it, Bill Gates has done more than you, George.

"Our own generation is in a long war against a determined enemy - a war that will be fought by Presidents of both parties, who will need steady bipartisan support from the Congress."

Or in other words - "I've only got three years left before they put me out to graze and I'm going to take every opportunity to ensure the next guy can't back out of it without looking like a cowardly idiot"

"Here at home, America also has a great opportunity: We will build the prosperity of our country by strengthening our economic leadership in the world. Our economy is healthy, and vigorous, and growing faster than other major industrialized nations."

I thought the American economy was almost in recession. If the economy is so healthy, how come almost every other foreign currency keeps doing better and better against the dollar?

I'm skipping ahead a bit now - missing out all the boring "we're all getting older" bollocks.

"Keeping America competitive requires affordable energy. Here we have a serious problem: America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world. The best way to break this addiction is through technology.

So tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy Initiative...to push for breakthroughs in two vital areas."

So the reason for this Initiative isn't because the oil's about to run out, it's because you take it from the Middle East and you don't want to be held to ransom. I see!

But...if you occupied and dictated the political agenda the Middle East, you wouldn't have to worry about it, would you?

" By applying the talent and technology of America, this country can...make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past."

Because soon Middle Eastern oil will be a thing of the past.

And how about sharing some of that clean, safe nuclear energy with the Middle East, then they wouldn't have to keep pissing about with the dirty, unsafe stuff you guys don't like, would they?

Waddya mean they'd just make bombs out of it? why would they want to bomb someone who's helping them overcome a national crisis?

"As we look at these challenges, we must never give in to the belief that America is in decline, or that our culture is doomed to unravel. The American people know better than that."

Do you? Speak up, America. Is your society unravelling or not? What we see over the pond is that it's already well and truly fucked.

OK, never give in to the belief that you're in decline. What about the fact? Oh, I see. If you don't stop believing it, it won't happen. Oh, Ohkayyy.

"We will renew the defining moral commitments of this land. And so we move forward - optimistic about our country, faithful to its cause, and confident of victories to come."

And absolutely determined to swep anyone who doesn't agree with us out of the way.

" Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America."

Oh, I think it's increasingly obvious that God has, in fact, damned you Georgey boy.

If he hasn't, he bloody well should.

New keyboard purchased...

God, that's better. I can touchtype again!

Anyway, watch this space for a long delayed diatribe on Bush's State of the Empire address.

Until then, I have some thawing out to do. Fuck me it's cold!

Haha! Ahahaha! Tee hee! Gotcha....

Who remembers this travesty of justice - the Police Officer who had his 159MPH speeding offence dismissed on the grounds that he was familiarising himself with the car.

Well, it turns out that the High Court feels the same way as I did at the time. The case has been referred back to the Magistrates'Court, with a note to the effect that the original Magistrate took inadmissable evidence into account, such as the opinion of other Police officers.

I'm still giggling now.

And you thought you'd got away with it.

Tee hee hee!

Oh, by the way...

I haven't shown you my happy, hardworking little MP3 player yet, have I?

Have a pic:



Clicking on the pic takes you to the Pricerunner information page.

It's true that it's not one of those monster hard drive models, it hasn't even got an alphanumeric display, but it does have a SDCard slot and some nice presets. It also connects to the PC as a portable hard drive and doesn't require any proprietary software, or specific drivers like other players do, so what I have, potentially, is not just a music player, but a portable, bootable hard drive - which will come in very handy in the future.

To get more than two albums on there, I have to re-encode the music down to 64kbps, which is easy with Musicmatch Jukebox that came with the player, and if I encode the tracks using mp3PRO, I can't really tell the difference.

At the end of the day it's a bog standard upgrade from the cassette and CD walkmans I've had up to now, necessary because we don't have a tape recorder in the house for me to make compilation tapes up, and I'm damned if I'm ripping loads of cd's every time I want to listen to something on a bulky, battery guzzling CD walkman.

Fact is, the vast majority of my music collection is on the PC and it's so startlingly easy to plug the player in and transfer the three or four hours of music I want that day that I don't see any particular need to fork out hundreds of pounds on an eminently nickable fashion accessory that would actually restrict what I could do with it *cough* iPod *cough*

***

Speaking of things Apple, I popped into the Apple store in the Bullring yesterday and had a play with a nice G5 attached to a 30" widescreen plasma monitor.

Want one!

Is it me...

Or is this getting exceptionally odd?

Wha?

It's February!

How the crap did that happen?

Another year's going way too fast.

I think we need some space...

Mykeyboard'sfucked. Cananyone tellwhat button onlyworks sporadically?

That's right, thenumberpad'suptheswanny.

So, thisfriday,I'mofftoDixon'sbecausethey'vegota rather flashsilver oneforseven quid. Bargain.

Tillthen,Ipromisethisisthe only postIwon'tcorrect.

It's amateur review time again...

Long-time readers (of which there are certainly three) will recall my shortlived attempts to review a number of chart-topping albums some time back. Well, it just so happens that I've been frittering some of my extra cash on a few more, so here goes again:

First up is the record breaker. Was I one of those 363,735 people who got this album in it's first week of release? God knows. I just popped in and picked it up as I'd heard the buzz. So far it's come round twice on my player and it's kinda growing on me. Can't for the life of me work out why it's gone ballistic like it has, but there's some good, funny, catchy tunes on the album: "Mardy Bum" has to be my favourite. And you have to give some kudos to someone who rhymes "ford Mondeo" and "Say Owt'".

The Editors.

Well.

I thought I'd heard this before, but I couldn't find my Menswear album, so I can't say for sure. The first time this came round on the player,I managed three tracks before skipping to the next album. Samey, miserable old hat. I want my fiver back.

Ordinary Boys are seeing the fruits of their lead singers' efforts to pull Paris Travelodge in the Big Brother house.

Fair play to them, but you can read what you like into the fact that I couldn't tell when the Hard-fi album finished and this one started. Guitary, poppy, nothing special. It's the kind of thing I like, but it's not gonna shake the world really, is it?

Usually, I'm not drawn to this kind of thing, but to be honest the singer intrigues me. I like the breathy style she uses, and her elegant look is a refreshing change. Of course I like "Ooh la la", and there's maybe another couple of decent tracks on the album, but I don't think it'll last too long before going into storage, really.



See Ordinary Boys. Much the same fare, really. Inoffensive jangly stuff.

Auricular Vermitude

For your listening pleasure, those Earworms are now happily residing at Swiss Toni's place. Thanks Swiss! Bad news about your tickets, that's bang out of order!

And now folks, as my day started at 5am with a little girl that wouldn't go back to sleep and has so far continued to include much shouting and a burned pizza that seems to have much more symbolic importance than I ever imagined bacon, cheese, tomato and mushroom on bread could ever posess, I shall bid you adieu and bon nuit.

Sorry, had nothing useful to say lately...

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out
Its earted jurtles
Into a rancid festering
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
And living glupules frart and slipulate
Like jowling meated liverslime
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

Dammit...dammit!

Why can't the UK and US air Battlestar Galactica at the same time, like they did with the first season??

If they did, I could bemoan the hideously executed supreme Shark Jumping event I've just witnessed!

Aargh! Why?!

Now I've got to watch the latest episode all over again with the commentary synched in so that I can wait to hear whatever lame-ass reason Ron Moore's got for not doing what he damn well should have done!

Aiko Aiko ay-yay...

As those of you who read my comments will know, I've been asked by Swiss Toni to contribute my selections to his compelling Earworms collection.

Well, I just emailed my finished column to him. God only knows how I'm supposed to follow Graham's impassioned contribution, but hopefully you'll find some interesting and surprising tunes on my list, which I think will be published on Friday...or at least, some time next week...

Speeeeed...

I just phoned Telewest and pointed out how we'd dumped our 2Mb ADSL in October on the promise of an upgrade that hasn't happened to this day.

After calmly pointing out that I was feeling cheated, frustrated, kept in the dark and other choice negativities, I was put on hold.

When the Customer service bod came back to me, he offered a free temporary upgrade, with the potential systemwide upgrade due any day now, it means that for a while we may have 10Mb broadband for £15 per month.

Now that's what I call a result!

What's on my mind tonight?

Firstly, the fifth season of Kiefer Sutherland's show 24 started with a bang last night. And I have to admit to being just a mite underwhelmed. With each successive season the writers are relying on larger and more spectacular hooks to bring us into the show, stretching the "real time" structure of the show to its limits. Unfortunately, this time they've stretched that limit a little too far. It's going to be a couple of months beforeanyone over here gets to seethe series over here, so I won't go into specifics, but it's almost impossible to imagine that the events so far fit comfortably into the timeframe available. It shouldn't be a shock toanyone that watched season 4's final episode that this season appears to be focussing on yet another bad guy pulling out all the stops to get to Sutherland's character, Jack Bauer. But I fail to see why this invariably has to include trying to bring down the government. Once, I could accept - in season 3 a former colleague of Bauer's is recruited by an anti-american terror cell and he uses their influence to track down Bauer, via his friend, the President - but now someone else is seeming to do the same thing. Too much. I'm going to keepon watching, but it'd betterget a little more on track and back to the well plotted sequences we saw upto season 3. As an aside, Manny Coto, the man who nearly saved Startrek Enterprise is now an executive producer, so we'll see how things pan out with some pedigree new blood onboard.

Second, time for a bit of nostalgia. Eagle eyed bloggers and newshounds may recall some discussion last month about how America defines the word "torture" - now when the stories broke about how prisoners were being shipped to other countries, for whatever reason, the newswires went a bit mad...

But to this old hippie there was no sense of surprise. Instead, a sense of deja vu. Look at this article from New Years' Eve '04 that I linked to in this post just two days later. Told you it'd be worth keeping an eye on, didn't I?

And finally - I've been reloading my MP3 player after getting bored of having Sgt Pepper, Rubber Soul, Revolver and the White Album on there. I've gone for a completely different soundtrack. Now I have half of the first phase of the Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy radio series, a select few episodes of the Goon Show, including one whose title may spark a little bit of interest in a couple of my readers - an episode entitled "Ned's Atomic Dustbin" - and an episode of "The Navy Lark" which featured some grand old names such as Jon Pertwee, Leslie Philips and a very young but utterly unmistakable Ronnie Barker. A bit of class for my bus hopping adventures.

That's all for now. Fuck me it's late.