Next time you're slagging off the government or the police for their attitude to terrorism consider this:

We haven't suffered an attack lately. Why is that? Is it perhaps because they're biding their time, making their plans and picking a venue? Are they waiting for a major gathering to blow up?

Or maybe, just maybe, the authorities are actually doing their job.

For months, the press has been howling for proof that we're under threat from terrorism. For months, we've been told by the government that the threat, although it probably won't happen tomorrow, might happen soon. I'm a cynical sort and as a rule, I don't believe a thing that comes out of a politician's mouth, but I have to believe the evidence of my own eyes. We haven't been blown up.

Despite all these alerts and heightened states of emergency and marathon sessions of parliament and airport and seaport closures, we still haven't been blown up. I feel quite cheated. Why can't we have a vast monument to the honoured dead, like Manhattan? Where's our garden full of trees planted in memory of the victims, like Madrid? Why don't I have to walk past the sombre building site where there was once a nightclub and where my friends died , like Kuta, Indonesia?

Let's face it, we don't need all these heightened security measures, do we? Nobody's attacked us, so obviously they're not gonna bother. So let's push for an end to all this anti-terror legislation. Disband the Anti-terror squad, open the ports to all and sundry. We haven't been attacked because there's so many terrorists living here, they're scared of blowing their own people up. Yeah, just like they were on Sept 11th 2001. Just like they are in Iraq every day when someone else straps on their high-explosive waistcoat and goes for a walk.

More than 200 terrorists living in Britain. According to "Spearhead Online" we're becoming the terror haven of the world. They're apparently flooding into the country because we don't lock them up and throw away the key. Because we don't care. We love terrorists here, don't we? We're inviting them all here because our friends in Afghanistan and Iraq can't organise things freely over there, so they'd better come here where the vast islamic networks run unchecked, recruiting like mad and making their plans.

So here's the situation: The Government is playing fast and loose with the democratic process in order to bully legislation through Parliament that means they can lock innocent people up in their own homes at the megalomaniacal whim of the home secretary. Regular people have their civil liberties walked all over every day when they have to stop and open their bags for the fascist police pigs. The country's gone mad. The goverment's paranoid and they're all trying to scare us into believing that we need draconian measures in order to deal with a threat that doesn't exist.

But there's hundreds of Bin Laden trained operatives in the country. Every street seems to have its own terrorist cell. They're flooding into the country daily. They're hatching their plans and gathering supplies.

But something doesn't gel. We still haven't been blown up. Why is that? Are they really scared of hurting their own people? After all, that's the reason Birmingham only got bombed once. Is there such a huge ultra-devout muslim community in Britain that nowhere at all, no nightclub, no football stadium, no train station, no airport, no office building is completely free of Al Quaeda activists, to the point that it would be counterproductive to plant a bomb and kill 'em all?

Perhaps they're worried about the bad press. Yes, that's got to be it. If they blow a load of Brits up, the backlash would be huge wouldn't it? I mean, everyone in Britain would think that "Muslim" immediately meant "terrorist". The result of an attack in Britain would be rampant xenophobia and they can't afford that, can they?

So of course they're not attacking us, they're not going to attack us because we love them. We embrace our terrorist brothers in this strict Islamic state. Bin Laden loves us because we're all such good Muslims, aren't we?

Or maybe, just maybe the laws and legislations being passed, the safeguards being put in place and the alerts being announced are actually working. Hands up who would prefer to have the shit blown out of them before we start doing something about it.