To lighten the mood, Charlie doesn't do sarcasm:

When I say to her, in exasperated tones, at 8am on a school day "why don't you have another half hour in bed?" I don't expect to have to be waking her back up at 8:25.

And if I say "Aw to hell with the diet that's seen us both shed pounds like people who live in saunas and jog a lot, let's phone for a pizza" I don't expect her to ask what the number is.

Don't women know when not to take men literally?? Sheesh!