Stupid bloody cold. It won't go away! I got some decongestant tablets, like the nurse said and yes, they did make a difference. My ears clicked like crazy all day and I could hear properly again at last, so I said to myself "that's the end of it" and vowed not to have any more.
Then I woke up half deaf again the next day. Fucker.
Thing is, now I'm feeling uncharacteristically low, drowsy, achy, sometimes when I blink, I open my eyes and everything's blurred or I'm seeing double. But in my mind, there's noting wrong with me because I can still get up, potter around the house, make everyones' dinner, fetch the kids from school, handle business phone calls - you know, the run of the mill stuff that I usually can't do when I'm all flu'd up.
So I'm fine - it's just that I've got all this misery and achiness to deal with. Added to that, something's going on in my left upper gum where there seems to be some pressure on one of my molars. I'm assuming there's a wisdom tooth coming through. When I was fifteen, I had an X-ray at the dentist's and they said all four of my wisdom teeth would come through with no problem, but this one's forcing the teeth in front of it forward (which is OK because I've got a convenient gap from a previous extraction), which means I've got all these odd sensations in my jaw.
I haven't been able to concentrate properly lately, either. Thoughts seem to leak out of my head like water through a colander. I start on a subject, trail off after about three seconds, then have to say "forget it" because...I have. It's pissing me off. I know it's this bloody cold that's doing it to me. It's put me in this realy black mood which I just want to snap out of because I'm just not like that. I can't be. There's too much to keep in the air. I have to keep the kids from trashing the house, Ihave to rein in the expenses so we can afford the necessities, I have to cope with phone calls from parents which take up our full attention for what could be three hours at a time, and I have to work out how I'm going to fit in a college course and a job around the increasingly full week while ensuring Charlie has as few parental duties to perform as possible. It's a juggling act, and I'm shit at juggling.
I want to keep rambling on for ages about god only knows what, but I really can't be arsed. It's this black mood settling over me for the night. Also, this seat feels saggier than usual, I have things to do before I go to bed and I feel like what I want to do is just bash the keyboard and see long strings of totally random characters fill the screen.
Ah well, tomorrow's nearly here. Time to hit the hay. Maybe things will look AND sound a little clearer then.
