If I was Prime Minister...

I'd trashcan the new Wembley Stadium and recommission the one they were going to build in Birmingham.

Ban big business from investing anywhere inside Greater London, concentrating instead on areas direly in need of investment and jobs, like South Wales, Tyneside, The East Midlands and suchlike. My chamber of commerce would be instructed to offer extra incentives to big foreign businesses that invested in such places.

Cancel any new homebuilding and roadbuilding schemes. Concentrate instead of redeveloping the huge empty stretches of brownbelt land and derelict housing lying empty because of planning restrictions and red tape.

Fire or heavily fine any manager who earns over a million pounds a year. There's no need for it. Economise, buy British and get your heads from up your backsides, you drain on the nations resources!

Emasculate Manchester Utd. They're too rich, the players go to pieces as soon as they leave the club and football is now the least important part of their business strategy. That's wrong and it's bad for the rest of the football league.

There's more but I'll come back to it later, as I remember what I was going to say.