Another "getting to know you" session. This one gleaned from the "Life and times of the Merry Piper"

• What scar are you most proud of? The one my daughters came out of.
  
• What's your favourite condiment? Soy Sauce
  
• Do you have freckles? Nup. The thai blood kinda put paid to anything like that.
  
• What's your preferred method of cooking? Quick 'n easy. Stir fry or "gas mark 7 for 30 minutes". Anyone noticed just how many frozen foodstuffs come with this instruction? Weird.
  
• What shoes are you wearing? I'm not. Today I wore para boots, however.
  
• How many children do you have? Two girls.
  
• Who was the first person you ever French kissed? Catherine Fellowes, behind the Junior school shed, age...umm...dunno, nine, ten. Everyone was watching while we sucked face under our coats. I had a reputation for years after.
  
• What's your preferred breed of dog? Apart from the cross collie in the kitchen, any one I don't own.
  
• Where you were born? Just over four miles away.
  
• What colour underwear are you wearing? I'm not wearing any. Ooer missus.
  
• Where your keys are right now? Next to the phone, on top of my bus pass.
  
• Do you have split ends? Probably not. The old mop's in amazingly good condition considering.
  
• What's your opinion of airline food? I once saw an episode of a sitcom where the main character was getting told off for slipping a note inside one meal which said "Help, I'm being held captive in an airline food packaging factory!"
  
• What cosmetic surgery you would consider? Nah, I've seen the documentaries. Sod that! I'd have the ol' snip though.
  
• When did you last get laid? A few days back.
  
• Where's the most interesting place you've had sex? On the bed. The position was plenty interesting - fantasy-fulfillingly interesting! As far as odd locations go...maybe over the back of the in-law's sofa, or up an alley which seemed quite dingy but turned out to be quite well lit upon our exit.
  
• What's the best kiddie playground equipment on which you've had sex? I always wanted to have a go on the climbing frames with a couple of pairs of handcuffs, a blindfold and a consenting adult.
  
• What's been your worst every injury or illness? Gout.
  
• Does your Mum love your Dad? I don't think so.
  
• Can you can sing well? Ask my shower head.
  
• What would your Olympic event would be? Sod the olympics, I wanna be on Mastermind.
  
• Name someone you admire. Steve Redgrave.
  
• Which country would be hardest for you to locate on a map? I think I've got a decent grasp of where most places are.
  
• Which part of the Sunday papers do you read first? The arts reviews.
  
• What languages do you speak? English, French, Spanish, some Sign Language, some occam, celtic, ancient egyptian.
  
• In what religion you were raised? Baptist.
  
• Can you can draw well? I couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler.
  
• What's your favourite photograph? This one has me stumped. Maybe the first ones I took of my daughters, one about ten minutes after Allison was born, and one after Bethan had been stabilised in the Neo-Natal Unit.
  
• What you should be doing instead of this? Sleeping.