And as Midnight approaches, this still, small, quiet corner of cyberspace wishes you all the best for the new year.
Another year, another chance to get it right.
See you on the other side...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Here's a quick mention of something that happened way back in May which I don't think I mentioned before:
From FreeRepublic.com
From FreeRepublic.com
OUTNUMBERED British soldiers killed 35 Iraqi attackers in the Army’s first bayonet charge since the Falklands War 22 years ago. The fearless Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders stormed rebel positions after being ambushed and pinned down.
Despite being outnumbered five to one, they suffered only three minor wounds in the hand-to-hand fighting near the city of Amara.
The battle erupted after Land Rovers carrying 20 Argylls came under attack on a highway.
After radioing for back-up, they fixed bayonets and charged at 100 rebels using tactics learned in drills.
Charge ... tactics from drills
When the fighting ended bodies lay all over the highway — and more were floating in a nearby river. Nine rebels were captured.
An Army spokesman said: “This was an intense engagement.”
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Well, it seems someone's been listening to the voices of reason:
Colin Powell says the US's $35m is "just a start"
UK raises it's donation to £50m, while the British public has already donated £25m.
The Queen has pledged to donate a "substantial sum"
And newsreaders have renamed one of the islands affected. Expect news to now come from the island of POOket.
Colin Powell says the US's $35m is "just a start"
UK raises it's donation to £50m, while the British public has already donated £25m.
The Queen has pledged to donate a "substantial sum"
And newsreaders have renamed one of the islands affected. Expect news to now come from the island of POOket.
Every time I hear about it, the death toll increases in the Tsunami disaster. When I went to sleep the estimated total was 80,000. Now it's gone up to 100,000 and will probably continue to increase exponentially.
I'm with the Urban Fox on this one. Our governments need to be sending a shitload more money and aid. £15 million is an insult.
I'm with the Urban Fox on this one. Our governments need to be sending a shitload more money and aid. £15 million is an insult.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Found this list on LotsOfJokes.com. Most of the lists could just as easily be called "How to make yourself look like a complete twat in one easy gesture" like this one for Workplace japes, but this one for Telemarketer annoyance is just the ticket, and I'll be employing these tactics just as soon as the next one rings:
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" and proceed to hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
And another stolen one. I just had to give in!
The A to Z of me.
A is for age: 31
B is for boyfriend: One time too many.
C is for career: Of my own devising, real soon.
D is for dad's name: James Roland Clement (pity him!)
E is for essential item to bring on an airplane: How would I know? Never been in one.
F is for favorite song at the moment: Anything not containing the word Christmas
G is for girlfriend: Had one too many, or six too few, depending on your point of view.
H is for hometown: Birmingham
I is for instruments you play(ed): Piano, Bugle, Guitar, Penny whistle - all badly.
J is for jam or jelly you like: Orange jelly.
K is for kids: Oh god, yes.
L is for living arrangements: Cohabiting
M is for megalomaniacal: British Gas and CKS domestics are convinced I am
N is for name of your best friend: Outside of family...they've all drifted away, like they have all my life.
O is for overnight hospital stays: Keeping youngest kid company while she had a chest infection two winters ago. Wallowed in the ward bath for an hour. First bath I'd had in years!
P is for phobia[s]: wasps. Much to everyone's amusement.
Q is for quote you like: "Yes sir"
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: nearly 8 years and counting
S is for sexual position: Something involving boots, ropes or chains
T is for time you wake up: 7:30 - 8am
U is for unique trait: A stare that can make people gibber.
V is for vegetable you love: I wouldn't go that far.
W is for worst habit: Intolerance
X is for x-rays you've had: One, at the dentists, a long time ago. My wisdom teeth were fine.
Y is for yummy food you make: Christmas dinner was outstanding. I do excellent Italian and Chinese, too.
Z is for zodiac sign: Gemini
The A to Z of me.
A is for age: 31
B is for boyfriend: One time too many.
C is for career: Of my own devising, real soon.
D is for dad's name: James Roland Clement (pity him!)
E is for essential item to bring on an airplane: How would I know? Never been in one.
F is for favorite song at the moment: Anything not containing the word Christmas
G is for girlfriend: Had one too many, or six too few, depending on your point of view.
H is for hometown: Birmingham
I is for instruments you play(ed): Piano, Bugle, Guitar, Penny whistle - all badly.
J is for jam or jelly you like: Orange jelly.
K is for kids: Oh god, yes.
L is for living arrangements: Cohabiting
M is for megalomaniacal: British Gas and CKS domestics are convinced I am
N is for name of your best friend: Outside of family...they've all drifted away, like they have all my life.
O is for overnight hospital stays: Keeping youngest kid company while she had a chest infection two winters ago. Wallowed in the ward bath for an hour. First bath I'd had in years!
P is for phobia[s]: wasps. Much to everyone's amusement.
Q is for quote you like: "Yes sir"
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: nearly 8 years and counting
S is for sexual position: Something involving boots, ropes or chains
T is for time you wake up: 7:30 - 8am
U is for unique trait: A stare that can make people gibber.
V is for vegetable you love: I wouldn't go that far.
W is for worst habit: Intolerance
X is for x-rays you've had: One, at the dentists, a long time ago. My wisdom teeth were fine.
Y is for yummy food you make: Christmas dinner was outstanding. I do excellent Italian and Chinese, too.
Z is for zodiac sign: Gemini
I tried my best not to nick this one, but I'm weak:
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dad
2. Nick*
3. Bastard**
* - Not my real name, the guy from my dads work who I bought my car off. Dad's invariably called me Nick for years.
** - Part of our more interesting Sex Play (No, I'm not telling)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Nwsy
2. Robin Lithaborn
3. ^Chuckle^
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Determination
2. Ability to keep a relationship together
3. Adaptability
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Life's
2. Too
3. Short
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Thailand - One of my maternal great-grandfathers was from Bangkok. They had to leave the country in a hurry during a coup in 1934. Jury's out on whether he was part of the Royal family and whether he survived.
2. A family name that goes back countless generations (although I haven't got it). I think we have a coat of arms.
3. Geordieland - My paternal grandparents came from there.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Alzheimers
2. Driving (this is gonna change soon)
3. Club wielding mobs.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Room to move
2. Someone to take the kids off my hands
3. Time to catch my breath
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My favourite green "Free your soul" T-shirt
2. Boxers
3. Deodorant
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Deacon Blue
2. The Beatles
3. John Lee Hooker
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Deacon Blue - I will see you tomorrow
2. God, I dunno. I'm being brainwashed by Cbeebies.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Learn to drive
2. Hold down a decent job
3. Tai Chi
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Time to spend with each other
2. Time to be apart from each other
3. Interesting toys
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE*
1. I got conned into having one of my kids
2. I can feel the career clock ticking
3. I am actually a ten year old kid from Alabama
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. What's on their feet (boots good)
2. A face that doesn't resemble my ex
3. A genuine smile
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Drive
2. Give in
3. Put up with corporate bullshit
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. T'internet
2. Reading
3. Gathering knowledge on whichever topic is top of my list today
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Give the kids to someone else for an hour or two
2. Snap my fingers and have the place tidy itself up - a la Mary Poppins
3. Move without the possibility of elbowing a kid in the face
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Owner of Internet Cafe
2. Shop asssitant
3. Owner of PC supplies shop
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Snowdonia
2. Yorkshire
3. New Zealand
THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Dweezil
2. Porche
3. Arthur
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be important
2. Attain wisdom
3. Live in a vastly expensive house
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dad
2. Nick*
3. Bastard**
* - Not my real name, the guy from my dads work who I bought my car off. Dad's invariably called me Nick for years.
** - Part of our more interesting Sex Play (No, I'm not telling)
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Nwsy
2. Robin Lithaborn
3. ^Chuckle^
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Determination
2. Ability to keep a relationship together
3. Adaptability
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Life's
2. Too
3. Short
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Thailand - One of my maternal great-grandfathers was from Bangkok. They had to leave the country in a hurry during a coup in 1934. Jury's out on whether he was part of the Royal family and whether he survived.
2. A family name that goes back countless generations (although I haven't got it). I think we have a coat of arms.
3. Geordieland - My paternal grandparents came from there.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Alzheimers
2. Driving (this is gonna change soon)
3. Club wielding mobs.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Room to move
2. Someone to take the kids off my hands
3. Time to catch my breath
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. My favourite green "Free your soul" T-shirt
2. Boxers
3. Deodorant
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Deacon Blue
2. The Beatles
3. John Lee Hooker
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Deacon Blue - I will see you tomorrow
2. God, I dunno. I'm being brainwashed by Cbeebies.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Learn to drive
2. Hold down a decent job
3. Tai Chi
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Time to spend with each other
2. Time to be apart from each other
3. Interesting toys
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE*
1. I got conned into having one of my kids
2. I can feel the career clock ticking
3. I am actually a ten year old kid from Alabama
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. What's on their feet (boots good)
2. A face that doesn't resemble my ex
3. A genuine smile
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Drive
2. Give in
3. Put up with corporate bullshit
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. T'internet
2. Reading
3. Gathering knowledge on whichever topic is top of my list today
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Give the kids to someone else for an hour or two
2. Snap my fingers and have the place tidy itself up - a la Mary Poppins
3. Move without the possibility of elbowing a kid in the face
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Owner of Internet Cafe
2. Shop asssitant
3. Owner of PC supplies shop
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Snowdonia
2. Yorkshire
3. New Zealand
THREE KID'S NAMES
1. Dweezil
2. Porche
3. Arthur
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be important
2. Attain wisdom
3. Live in a vastly expensive house
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
My paranoia radar is going off the scale because of this, this and this.
Three posts from bloggers who really should know better on the subject of the recent vote on Identity Cards.
I've not been very interested in the whole issue, so I decided this morning to have a little dig around. I've cast my increasingly bored eye over NO2ID and the draft legislation (That's a link to the PDF file, by the way) in order to get an appreciation of what the main issues are.
This is what I've deduced:
NO2ID is full of exaggerations. In its FAQ's it states the national ID database will hold over 50 different pieces of information on you. In reality, while this is true from a certain point of view, it breaks down to this: Name, Address, Biometric Identification, NI number, Passport number, immigration status and the histories thereof. Big deal. Sainsbury's knows more about me. Sainsbury's has a comprehensive list of everything I've bought, every store I've visited and how much I've spent going back at least three years. It has the capacity to log every item I've bought from every one of a dozen different shops and every time I use my Barclaycard. You can't do that with an ID card. You can't build a comprehensive list of where I've been and what I've done with an ID card. You can with a Nectar card. You wanna be scared? Be scared of that!
So it's not illegal to refuse to carry a Nectar card. Let me ask you this. How many times a day do you seriously think you're going to have to produce your ID card? Does anyone out there seriously think the police are going to bust your door down, or stop EVERYONE they pass and ask them to produce their cards on a daily basis? Get real! The majority of people in this country, and I'm talking scores of millions of people, will NEVER.....EVER.......EVER be asked to produce their cards, and therefore will never NEED one, therefore will never GET one!
The only difference between the information on your ID card and the information you need to hold a credit card, driving licence, passport or loyalty card is the iris scan and fingerprint. Do you realise that? Do you realise that your fingerprints are quite possibly on record anyway? Ever have the police come to your school and show you the fingerprinting kit? ever had your place dusted for prints after a burglary? Your dabs are on record.
Consider how many different cards you carry around with you anyway. Consider the process that happens every time you put your signature on on a credit card stub, or enter your pin at the checkout. Consider how much your cards cost you every year in bank charges.
Paranoia and scaremongering may be wonderful tools for building impressively scary websites, bugging the Government for the sake of "sticking it to The Man" or writing outrageously overblown essays on personal freedom, but please guys, take a few minutes to look at the thing with a touch of pragmatism, a pinch of realism and a hefty dose of cynicism.
No-one's going to GET an ID card anytime soon. No-one you know will ever be asked to produce their ID card, no-one you know will ever be prosecuted for not having an ID card.
The vote in favour of ID cards was nothing more or less than a sympathy vote for Blunkett, one of their own, sacrificed on the bloody, gore splattered altar of the media witch-hunt.
Guys, you're being pathetic. This kneejerk reaction whould be above you. You've all got more brains than to be dragged in by the anti-ID card hype and hysteria. Stop wearing your dissent on your sleeves, grow up and start living in the real world. You seem to have missed the most obvious truth in the world when writing about Parliament.
The truth is this:
You think they're our elected representatives, sent to represent our views in the hallowed halls of Democracy.
You couldn't be more wrong.
They're there to suckle on the teats of the poowerful.
They're there to take advantage of whores and expense accounts.
They're there because they're the most convincing liars, the best at covering their tracks and they've blackmailed the most amount of influential people.
The people we elect to run this country are the people least fit to do the job.
Remember that the next time you get a fit of indignation at the latest crap they come out with. They're all self-serving, power hungry, corrupt pen pushers and I defy anyone to prove me wrong.
Ignore them and get on with running round on your little corporate hamster wheels.
Three posts from bloggers who really should know better on the subject of the recent vote on Identity Cards.
I've not been very interested in the whole issue, so I decided this morning to have a little dig around. I've cast my increasingly bored eye over NO2ID and the draft legislation (That's a link to the PDF file, by the way) in order to get an appreciation of what the main issues are.
This is what I've deduced:
NO2ID is full of exaggerations. In its FAQ's it states the national ID database will hold over 50 different pieces of information on you. In reality, while this is true from a certain point of view, it breaks down to this: Name, Address, Biometric Identification, NI number, Passport number, immigration status and the histories thereof. Big deal. Sainsbury's knows more about me. Sainsbury's has a comprehensive list of everything I've bought, every store I've visited and how much I've spent going back at least three years. It has the capacity to log every item I've bought from every one of a dozen different shops and every time I use my Barclaycard. You can't do that with an ID card. You can't build a comprehensive list of where I've been and what I've done with an ID card. You can with a Nectar card. You wanna be scared? Be scared of that!
So it's not illegal to refuse to carry a Nectar card. Let me ask you this. How many times a day do you seriously think you're going to have to produce your ID card? Does anyone out there seriously think the police are going to bust your door down, or stop EVERYONE they pass and ask them to produce their cards on a daily basis? Get real! The majority of people in this country, and I'm talking scores of millions of people, will NEVER.....EVER.......EVER be asked to produce their cards, and therefore will never NEED one, therefore will never GET one!
The only difference between the information on your ID card and the information you need to hold a credit card, driving licence, passport or loyalty card is the iris scan and fingerprint. Do you realise that? Do you realise that your fingerprints are quite possibly on record anyway? Ever have the police come to your school and show you the fingerprinting kit? ever had your place dusted for prints after a burglary? Your dabs are on record.
Consider how many different cards you carry around with you anyway. Consider the process that happens every time you put your signature on on a credit card stub, or enter your pin at the checkout. Consider how much your cards cost you every year in bank charges.
Paranoia and scaremongering may be wonderful tools for building impressively scary websites, bugging the Government for the sake of "sticking it to The Man" or writing outrageously overblown essays on personal freedom, but please guys, take a few minutes to look at the thing with a touch of pragmatism, a pinch of realism and a hefty dose of cynicism.
No-one's going to GET an ID card anytime soon. No-one you know will ever be asked to produce their ID card, no-one you know will ever be prosecuted for not having an ID card.
The vote in favour of ID cards was nothing more or less than a sympathy vote for Blunkett, one of their own, sacrificed on the bloody, gore splattered altar of the media witch-hunt.
Guys, you're being pathetic. This kneejerk reaction whould be above you. You've all got more brains than to be dragged in by the anti-ID card hype and hysteria. Stop wearing your dissent on your sleeves, grow up and start living in the real world. You seem to have missed the most obvious truth in the world when writing about Parliament.
The truth is this:
You think they're our elected representatives, sent to represent our views in the hallowed halls of Democracy.
You couldn't be more wrong.
They're there to suckle on the teats of the poowerful.
They're there to take advantage of whores and expense accounts.
They're there because they're the most convincing liars, the best at covering their tracks and they've blackmailed the most amount of influential people.
The people we elect to run this country are the people least fit to do the job.
Remember that the next time you get a fit of indignation at the latest crap they come out with. They're all self-serving, power hungry, corrupt pen pushers and I defy anyone to prove me wrong.
Ignore them and get on with running round on your little corporate hamster wheels.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
It's a sad day in Bittorrent land, with the demise of all the major downloading sites.
No explanation has been given for any of the closures, but it's kind of assumed they're running scared from the RIAA and MPAA and their new determination to prosecute sites which distribute Bittorrent files.
Let's not forget that no illegal information is contained on these sites, that Bittorrent is the most efficient way of distributing large files and that it would be remarkably easy to set up a pay service using bittorrent.
Let's also not fail to remember that those two organisations are barely tolerated within the industries they represent and that they have no jurisdiction overseas.
Gits.
No explanation has been given for any of the closures, but it's kind of assumed they're running scared from the RIAA and MPAA and their new determination to prosecute sites which distribute Bittorrent files.
Let's not forget that no illegal information is contained on these sites, that Bittorrent is the most efficient way of distributing large files and that it would be remarkably easy to set up a pay service using bittorrent.
Let's also not fail to remember that those two organisations are barely tolerated within the industries they represent and that they have no jurisdiction overseas.
Gits.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
I did start composing a post on the origins of Christmas and celebrations around the end of the year, but the more I looked around for information, the more I came to the conclusion that everyone has their own way of marking the holiday season, whether it's by giving presents, going to church, being miserable, panicking or celebrating the fact that the year has turned a corner and the days are getting longer again.
So here's a couple of quotes from my favourite christmas songs:
"Merry Christmas you arse, I pray God it's our last"
"The Christmas we get, we deserve"
So here's a couple of quotes from my favourite christmas songs:
"Merry Christmas you arse, I pray God it's our last"
"The Christmas we get, we deserve"
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Zoe Slater about to fall from view completely:
EastEnders actor Michelle Ryan is planning to quit the soap next year to pursue a modelling career, The Sun reports today.
The star, who has played Zoe Slater for four years, will also try to land Hollywood film roles with new agents Peters Fraser and Dunlop.
"She plans to leave EastEnders towards the end of next year," a friend told the newspaper. "Michelle has been in the show since she left school and feels like she needs to spread her wings. Producers will be sad to see her go - she is one of the most popular characters."
Her new agents have high hopes for their newest signing. "They want to turn her into the next Keira Knightley," the source added. "She has already had quite a few offers, but has had to turn a lot down because of her commitment to EastEnders."
You couldn't make it up:
From Digital Spy
From Digital Spy
One half of comedy duo the Krankies was rushed to hospital yesterday after falling from a beanstalk.
Janette Tough - better known as Wee Jimmy Krankie - plunged 20 feet from a giant beanstalk during Wednesday's matinee performance of Jack and the Beanstalk at Glasgow's Pavilion Theatre. Fellow cast member Gary Hollywood was also injured.
"She was at the top of the beanstalk at the end of act one," explained theatre manager Iain Gordon. "The beanstalk goes in the air about five metres, and as they were coming down the beanstalk bent."
Krankie, 57, was rushed immediately to hospital. A spokesman for the Scottish Ambulance Service confirmed: "Wee Jimmy Krankie fell out of the beanstalk on to the stage and was taken to Glasgow Royal Infirmary."
Her current condition is unknown.
Unlikely radio spot no. 16498: James Dean Bradfield is on Dermot O'Leary's Saturday Club on Radio 2. Rawk.
Gotta listen to that one!
Gotta listen to that one!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
I tried to stop myself doing this one, but I just couldn't help it! Nicked off Graham again:
What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Worked in a crap pub. Realised that I could actually build a working Business Plan.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I'm sure I broke them if I did.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nup.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yup. My uncle committed suicide.
What countries did you visit?
Shakespeare country.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A car. Oh look, there it is now.
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't really remember dates that way. The kids birthdays, our holiday, things like that.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual - Gout, IBS, the odd cold, bouts of general malaise. Nothing I couldn't handle.
What was the best thing you bought?
That's a toughie. I really don't know. All our stuff is pretty much equally neccessary and useful. If you stretch a definition, I could say our holiday.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids. They've come on in leaps and bounds and while they're terrors at home, they've acquitted themselves wonderfully at school and nursery.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too many people. Not depressed, but certainly appalled.
Where did most of your money go?
Fucked if I know. Sainsbury's mostly.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The holiday, Selling shitloads of videos on Ebay, the new Steven Donaldson book.
What song will always remind you of 2004?
Nothing really stands out. Stretching a definition, the poem I read at my uncle's funeral will stick with me.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? The same
thinner or fatter? Erm...
richer or poorer? poorer
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sex, worked.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nothing. No regrets.
How will you be spending Christmas?
Spinning like a top.
Did you fall in love in 2004?
Already there.
What was your favorite TV program?
Trek.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anthony Jordan
What was the best book you read?
I've read far too many good books to list here.
What was your greatest musical discovery of 2004?
Hayseed Dixie
What did you want and get?
A job. Shame it was a crap one, bit I got one.
What did you want and not get?
A good job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Super Size Me
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Can't remember. I'll ask C. I was 29...erm...31.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Plenty of money.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
If it's clean, wear it. If it's not clean, wear your coat zipped up.
What kept you sane?
Willpower
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The engineer chick from "Firefly". Yummy.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh go on, have a guess.
Who did you miss?
My uncle. Which is odd because we were never really close, but the nature of his death really hit me.
Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet anyone particularly wonderful this year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Nah, got all them sorted out ages ago.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"War...HUH...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Worked in a crap pub. Realised that I could actually build a working Business Plan.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember making any, but I'm sure I broke them if I did.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nup.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yup. My uncle committed suicide.
What countries did you visit?
Shakespeare country.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A car. Oh look, there it is now.
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't really remember dates that way. The kids birthdays, our holiday, things like that.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual - Gout, IBS, the odd cold, bouts of general malaise. Nothing I couldn't handle.
What was the best thing you bought?
That's a toughie. I really don't know. All our stuff is pretty much equally neccessary and useful. If you stretch a definition, I could say our holiday.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids. They've come on in leaps and bounds and while they're terrors at home, they've acquitted themselves wonderfully at school and nursery.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too many people. Not depressed, but certainly appalled.
Where did most of your money go?
Fucked if I know. Sainsbury's mostly.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The holiday, Selling shitloads of videos on Ebay, the new Steven Donaldson book.
What song will always remind you of 2004?
Nothing really stands out. Stretching a definition, the poem I read at my uncle's funeral will stick with me.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? The same
thinner or fatter? Erm...
richer or poorer? poorer
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sex, worked.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nothing. No regrets.
How will you be spending Christmas?
Spinning like a top.
Did you fall in love in 2004?
Already there.
What was your favorite TV program?
Trek.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Anthony Jordan
What was the best book you read?
I've read far too many good books to list here.
What was your greatest musical discovery of 2004?
Hayseed Dixie
What did you want and get?
A job. Shame it was a crap one, bit I got one.
What did you want and not get?
A good job.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Super Size Me
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Can't remember. I'll ask C. I was 29...erm...31.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Plenty of money.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
If it's clean, wear it. If it's not clean, wear your coat zipped up.
What kept you sane?
Willpower
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The engineer chick from "Firefly". Yummy.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh go on, have a guess.
Who did you miss?
My uncle. Which is odd because we were never really close, but the nature of his death really hit me.
Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't really meet anyone particularly wonderful this year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Nah, got all them sorted out ages ago.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"War...HUH...What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I'm a sucker for questionnaires. This one nicked off Graham:
I am: Me
I love: My family
I hate: Red Tape
I fear: Alzheimers
I crave: An easier life
I regret: Nothing
I cry: at that bloody resuscitation scene in "The Abyss"
I care: as well as I can
I always: try and do my best
I feel alone: never
I listen: all the time
I hide: my true power
I drive: eventually
I dance: to thrash metal on an empty dancefloor with a bottle of Newky in my hand, like the
thirtysomething saddo I swore I'd never become.
I write: powerful letters to people in charge
I play: with my kids
I miss: the old days
I know: more than I think I do
I say: "stop it" far too much
I wonder: said blue cow
I want: a break
I have: the life I made for myself
I give: all the time
I feel: Old, tired, cynical, jaded, enthusiastic, confident, in control
I need: A couple of grand too see us right. Or a job for the next thirty years, preferably as my
own boss.
I am: Me
I love: My family
I hate: Red Tape
I fear: Alzheimers
I crave: An easier life
I regret: Nothing
I cry: at that bloody resuscitation scene in "The Abyss"
I care: as well as I can
I always: try and do my best
I feel alone: never
I listen: all the time
I hide: my true power
I drive: eventually
I dance: to thrash metal on an empty dancefloor with a bottle of Newky in my hand, like the
thirtysomething saddo I swore I'd never become.
I write: powerful letters to people in charge
I play: with my kids
I miss: the old days
I know: more than I think I do
I say: "stop it" far too much
I wonder: said blue cow
I want: a break
I have: the life I made for myself
I give: all the time
I feel: Old, tired, cynical, jaded, enthusiastic, confident, in control
I need: A couple of grand too see us right. Or a job for the next thirty years, preferably as my
own boss.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
I've just done the egotistical thing of typing my name into google to see what comes out.
Now I wasn't expecting much, as I've kept my real name off the web as much as I can, preferring to go by aliases and nicknames.
So it was rather surprising to find that an article I'd written and that I've posted here is in top position. How about that? I google for my mane and get ME as number one result! Cool.
Actually there's three pieces of my work in the first two pages. I'm rather chuffed by this.
Now I wasn't expecting much, as I've kept my real name off the web as much as I can, preferring to go by aliases and nicknames.
So it was rather surprising to find that an article I'd written and that I've posted here is in top position. How about that? I google for my mane and get ME as number one result! Cool.
Actually there's three pieces of my work in the first two pages. I'm rather chuffed by this.
I have a radio on my mobile phone, which I usually listen to on the way home from doing the school run. It's usually tuned to Radio 2. Well this morning I caught the "Pause for Thought" section where a religious personage brings their point of view to bear on one of the topics of the day.
Today it was the leader of the American Methodist church who'd recently been on a visit to Aushwitz.
He talked about something I've been saying for at least half my life, which is that the best way of ensuring the horrors of the world wars don't happen again is by remembering what happened. I think a visit to a concentration camp should be compulsory and one day I'll go.
There's a heaviness apparently, you can feel the evil in the air. Knowing that many hundreds of thousands were murdered on the ground on which you stand surely must humble and horrify.
But despite that, we now live in a world where "genocide" is a word we hear almost every day in the news. The Balkans and Africa have been decimated in the name of "ethnic cleansing", as has Cambodia in the past. I find it unbearable that the lessons we learned, or our grandfathers learned in the World Wars only lasted two generations. Are we so shortsighted? Can it be that there are people out there growing up right now whose minds will naturally turn to the systematic destruction of all those who are different than them?
The answer of course is yes.
But where does blame lie? That young innocent suckling on hs mother's breast will one day turn out to be the murderer of millions of people. How does one become the other? What volume of horror and hatred does an infant need to be filled with in order to become a despot?
Most of the worlds governments are corrupt, if not all. Almost every country in the world supports and actively encourages the villification and persecution of groups of people whose only crime is to think or behave differently.
Hundreds of people will die in the next hour because of institutional greed, corruption and hatred.
And we, the person on the street, can do nothing to stop it. That's right, nothing. All the petition signing, protesting, chest ebating in the world won't make the damndest bit of difference. Chain youselves to railings, throw yourselves in front of tanks, drive your little car hundreds of miles and set yourself alight in the town square, it won't make a difference.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You see, it's not us that need to change. It's not the protesters and petition signers that need to alter the way they do things. It's the people in charge that need to change. Power doesn't necessarily need to corrupt. You don't HAVE to play the game "their" way.
But to be able to make a difference, you need to be in that position of command, so how do you get there?
Easy. Play it their way. Use the corrupt system to your advantage, get all the way to the top then, when they can't stop you, change everything. Be the sheep in wolf's clothing. Compromise your principles until you don't need to anymore because the outcome of your subterfuge is so good and right that you will be forgiven. The world is full of secret organisations and conspiracies - the powers behind the thrones, the voice in the ear of the figureheads. It's about time one of those voices started saying the right things.
I'd love to live in a world where there were secret sleeper agents throughout the worlds governments who will one day start eradicating red tape, eliminationg third world debt, decommissioning weapons, relaxing borders, promoting religious tolerance, crippling big business.
A pipe dream worth having, but a world in chaos as a result. I may write a story about it.
Today it was the leader of the American Methodist church who'd recently been on a visit to Aushwitz.
He talked about something I've been saying for at least half my life, which is that the best way of ensuring the horrors of the world wars don't happen again is by remembering what happened. I think a visit to a concentration camp should be compulsory and one day I'll go.
There's a heaviness apparently, you can feel the evil in the air. Knowing that many hundreds of thousands were murdered on the ground on which you stand surely must humble and horrify.
But despite that, we now live in a world where "genocide" is a word we hear almost every day in the news. The Balkans and Africa have been decimated in the name of "ethnic cleansing", as has Cambodia in the past. I find it unbearable that the lessons we learned, or our grandfathers learned in the World Wars only lasted two generations. Are we so shortsighted? Can it be that there are people out there growing up right now whose minds will naturally turn to the systematic destruction of all those who are different than them?
The answer of course is yes.
But where does blame lie? That young innocent suckling on hs mother's breast will one day turn out to be the murderer of millions of people. How does one become the other? What volume of horror and hatred does an infant need to be filled with in order to become a despot?
Most of the worlds governments are corrupt, if not all. Almost every country in the world supports and actively encourages the villification and persecution of groups of people whose only crime is to think or behave differently.
Hundreds of people will die in the next hour because of institutional greed, corruption and hatred.
And we, the person on the street, can do nothing to stop it. That's right, nothing. All the petition signing, protesting, chest ebating in the world won't make the damndest bit of difference. Chain youselves to railings, throw yourselves in front of tanks, drive your little car hundreds of miles and set yourself alight in the town square, it won't make a difference.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You see, it's not us that need to change. It's not the protesters and petition signers that need to alter the way they do things. It's the people in charge that need to change. Power doesn't necessarily need to corrupt. You don't HAVE to play the game "their" way.
But to be able to make a difference, you need to be in that position of command, so how do you get there?
Easy. Play it their way. Use the corrupt system to your advantage, get all the way to the top then, when they can't stop you, change everything. Be the sheep in wolf's clothing. Compromise your principles until you don't need to anymore because the outcome of your subterfuge is so good and right that you will be forgiven. The world is full of secret organisations and conspiracies - the powers behind the thrones, the voice in the ear of the figureheads. It's about time one of those voices started saying the right things.
I'd love to live in a world where there were secret sleeper agents throughout the worlds governments who will one day start eradicating red tape, eliminationg third world debt, decommissioning weapons, relaxing borders, promoting religious tolerance, crippling big business.
A pipe dream worth having, but a world in chaos as a result. I may write a story about it.
My ebay sales are going rather better than expected. Check the link to my auctions over on the left.
I can only assume that I'm not the only one who's bought the Christmas Radio Times and come to the conclusion that there's actually bollocks all worth watching over the whole two weeks.
There's some decent movies for sale there, so grab 'em before they finish on Friday.
I can only assume that I'm not the only one who's bought the Christmas Radio Times and come to the conclusion that there's actually bollocks all worth watching over the whole two weeks.
There's some decent movies for sale there, so grab 'em before they finish on Friday.
My mate Graham seems to have had an epiphany.
This excerpt from his blog sums up the decision I came to some ten years ago:
This excerpt from his blog sums up the decision I came to some ten years ago:
I’ve got a life to live, and it starts now. I can’t spend the rest of my life regretting what I cannot change, only merely endeavouring not to repeat the same mistakes.Nice one mate. Stick to the philosophy in that entry and life will be sweet, I promise.
Monday, December 06, 2004
 | You scored as Erato. You are Erato. The muse of love poetry, you view the world through rose colored glasses. Appearance is very important to you, and you are considered to be the most beautiful of all nine muses.
Which of the Greek Muses are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
These are C's results and I heartily agree!
Memo: Company Computer Upgrade
The existing stock of personal computers in our organization is nearing the end
of it's useful life and we have been evaluating the options available for the
future.
It has been decided that the goal is to remove all laptop computers by March
2005 and all desktops computers by July 2005.
Instead everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.
There are many sound reasons for doing this:
1) No boot-up problems
2) No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3) No Software installs required
4) No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
5) No more worries about power cuts.
6) Budget savings on Upgrades unparalleled
7) Immunity from computer viruses
8) No passwords to remember
Some Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
If you have any further queries, please feel free to ask a child.
The existing stock of personal computers in our organization is nearing the end
of it's useful life and we have been evaluating the options available for the
future.
It has been decided that the goal is to remove all laptop computers by March
2005 and all desktops computers by July 2005.
Instead everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.
There are many sound reasons for doing this:
1) No boot-up problems
2) No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3) No Software installs required
4) No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
5) No more worries about power cuts.
6) Budget savings on Upgrades unparalleled
7) Immunity from computer viruses
8) No passwords to remember
Some Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
If you have any further queries, please feel free to ask a child.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
 | You scored as Middle Class. You're content in your position and would prefer a house or a family than a seven figure pay cheque. But you have your moments of weakness when you buy a lottery ticket in the hope of knowing how the rich and famous live.
What Social Status are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
(Thanks to Mark for this one)
I feel old.
Old and jaded and tired, like I never have before.
Right now as I sit here, the Christmas tree is blazing with multicolour bulbs, the lights in the window chase each other permanently, garlands hang from the ceiling and our bedroom is filled with presents, wrapped and not-yet-wrapped. And how do I feel? Numb.
Christmas for me isn't the joyous time it should be any more. It's a time of frantic shopping trips, barely sane present-buying excursions which, despite ten months of planning never seem to go right. Sleepless nights poring over spreadsheets, working out our budget for the next four weeks to be sure we can survive, buy the turkey, get all the presents and still have enough to go out for a meal on Boxing Day. Days full of persuading C that you can't plan a christmas around the Argos website, or that three weeks is really quite a long time and yes, the money will be there when we need it and we don't need to do two week's shopping on the 24th because actually all the shops are open again on Boxing day.
Christmas has been going on since September here. She'd come home with reports on how many shops had got their christmas stock on the shelves on a daily basis. I went through days of evil glares, arguments and frantic reminders to pick up the Boots christmas catalogue just three weeks ago. When I actually went in, I looked around, found nothing and asked an assistant. They weren't even out for another week!
See, Christmas isn't all fun and sweetness for me. Christmas for me is whirling like a dervish trying to keep three kids (one of which is in her 20's and really knows better) happy. Christmas for me is torturous, endless phone calls from grandparents, clueless about what to buy for the kids, despite spending plenty of time with them. Christmas for me is negotiating work hours and suffering the recriminations if I get lumbered with working over New Year. Christmas for me is getting blamed for everything because C is so deeply panicked by mid-November that nothing she does or says makes sense anymore.
I want to enjoy the festive season. I want to look forward to the days gradually getting longer and the rebirth of the year. I want to sit back, relax and enjoy the celebrations with my family around me. I don't want my Christmas to be defined, as it so definitely is, by the words PANIC and DESPERATION.
I want my Christmas to be a Johnny Mathis song.
Old and jaded and tired, like I never have before.
Right now as I sit here, the Christmas tree is blazing with multicolour bulbs, the lights in the window chase each other permanently, garlands hang from the ceiling and our bedroom is filled with presents, wrapped and not-yet-wrapped. And how do I feel? Numb.
Christmas for me isn't the joyous time it should be any more. It's a time of frantic shopping trips, barely sane present-buying excursions which, despite ten months of planning never seem to go right. Sleepless nights poring over spreadsheets, working out our budget for the next four weeks to be sure we can survive, buy the turkey, get all the presents and still have enough to go out for a meal on Boxing Day. Days full of persuading C that you can't plan a christmas around the Argos website, or that three weeks is really quite a long time and yes, the money will be there when we need it and we don't need to do two week's shopping on the 24th because actually all the shops are open again on Boxing day.
Christmas has been going on since September here. She'd come home with reports on how many shops had got their christmas stock on the shelves on a daily basis. I went through days of evil glares, arguments and frantic reminders to pick up the Boots christmas catalogue just three weeks ago. When I actually went in, I looked around, found nothing and asked an assistant. They weren't even out for another week!
See, Christmas isn't all fun and sweetness for me. Christmas for me is whirling like a dervish trying to keep three kids (one of which is in her 20's and really knows better) happy. Christmas for me is torturous, endless phone calls from grandparents, clueless about what to buy for the kids, despite spending plenty of time with them. Christmas for me is negotiating work hours and suffering the recriminations if I get lumbered with working over New Year. Christmas for me is getting blamed for everything because C is so deeply panicked by mid-November that nothing she does or says makes sense anymore.
I want to enjoy the festive season. I want to look forward to the days gradually getting longer and the rebirth of the year. I want to sit back, relax and enjoy the celebrations with my family around me. I don't want my Christmas to be defined, as it so definitely is, by the words PANIC and DESPERATION.
I want my Christmas to be a Johnny Mathis song.
I'm feeling the need to share some song lyrics with you. They're by Deacon Blue:
Outside the world
The wind is howling
Through the broken trees
And the moon is shining
As the river meets the sea
And I will see you tomorrow
Calm and bright in tender light
And my heart will be racing
Like your wakening eyes
Inside my room the curtain`s blowing
And our bed it lies unmade
But the morning will be broken
By the loving words you say
Though you`re far still your heart sounds loud beating time with me
Through the day the only grace I get is
I want to be you
In the world time were rushing
Like the cool evening breeze
But my soul is calm
And I will see you presently
I absolutely love the words of this song. It reminds me of happier times, at the start of our relationship, before we moved in together and I still had the delicious pang of loneliness when she wasn't there, the luxury of looking forward to meeting up with her. I can remember days just like these, breezy spring days, languid air billowing out the bedroom curtains as we stir and shift against each other in the early morning. Bliss.
I Will See You Tomorrow
Outside the world
The wind is howling
Through the broken trees
And the moon is shining
As the river meets the sea
And I will see you tomorrow
Calm and bright in tender light
And my heart will be racing
Like your wakening eyes
Inside my room the curtain`s blowing
And our bed it lies unmade
But the morning will be broken
By the loving words you say
Though you`re far still your heart sounds loud beating time with me
Through the day the only grace I get is
I want to be you
In the world time were rushing
Like the cool evening breeze
But my soul is calm
And I will see you presently
I absolutely love the words of this song. It reminds me of happier times, at the start of our relationship, before we moved in together and I still had the delicious pang of loneliness when she wasn't there, the luxury of looking forward to meeting up with her. I can remember days just like these, breezy spring days, languid air billowing out the bedroom curtains as we stir and shift against each other in the early morning. Bliss.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Sir John Stevens, Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, has said he supports householders rights to defend their own home. And it's about time.
OK, I'm biased. Jordan, the cunt that burgled us, was in our living room no more than ten seconds before I got in there. It makes me sick to the stomach to think that, if he'd had a knife and attacked me, that he could prosecute ME if I defended myself, my family, my belongings.
We have a walking stick in the hall and I'd picked that up just in case. If he'd not managed to get out the window and I'd come face to face with him, what would I have done? What would he have done? The police told me he was a placid type who avoids confrontation, but at 1:30am, hearing crashing and banging downstairs when we'd JUST walked up the stairs, how were we to know that?
All this shouldn't even be a consideration. When I'm rushing to defend my family from a breakin, I don't want to be considering what would constitute "reasonable force". As far as I'm concerned, I'd be well within my rights to hammer the cunt into unconsciousness. I don't want to try and guess whether or not the guy's tooled up. I want to stop him stealing our stuff and keep him around until the police can shove him in a cell.
My point is, if the guy's broken into someone else's house with the intention of relieving them of a portion of their worldly possessions, or even worse, then right now they know that the law protects them from harm. As vile as it sounds, someone can break in to wherever you are right now, hammer crap out of you, leave you disabled and dying but if you raise one finger to defend yourself, then you WILL be prosecuted.
It goes beyond sickening. The wrong people have too many rights. If you're on my property, if you're going to take my stuff or harm my family then you waive your rights. If you don't want to get hurt, you shouldn't have been in my house.
Anthony Jordan, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but if I'd been quicker down those stairs, if I'd caught you in my house, you would have had the fucking shit beaten out of you. You chose to jump in though my living room window. You chose to take that risk. Well that risk includes the chance of being caught by someone who doesn't want you to be there and who is ready to lay some heavy shit on you. I am one of those people. I wish I'd been quicker. I would have enjoyed fucking you up.
OK, I'm biased. Jordan, the cunt that burgled us, was in our living room no more than ten seconds before I got in there. It makes me sick to the stomach to think that, if he'd had a knife and attacked me, that he could prosecute ME if I defended myself, my family, my belongings.
We have a walking stick in the hall and I'd picked that up just in case. If he'd not managed to get out the window and I'd come face to face with him, what would I have done? What would he have done? The police told me he was a placid type who avoids confrontation, but at 1:30am, hearing crashing and banging downstairs when we'd JUST walked up the stairs, how were we to know that?
All this shouldn't even be a consideration. When I'm rushing to defend my family from a breakin, I don't want to be considering what would constitute "reasonable force". As far as I'm concerned, I'd be well within my rights to hammer the cunt into unconsciousness. I don't want to try and guess whether or not the guy's tooled up. I want to stop him stealing our stuff and keep him around until the police can shove him in a cell.
My point is, if the guy's broken into someone else's house with the intention of relieving them of a portion of their worldly possessions, or even worse, then right now they know that the law protects them from harm. As vile as it sounds, someone can break in to wherever you are right now, hammer crap out of you, leave you disabled and dying but if you raise one finger to defend yourself, then you WILL be prosecuted.
It goes beyond sickening. The wrong people have too many rights. If you're on my property, if you're going to take my stuff or harm my family then you waive your rights. If you don't want to get hurt, you shouldn't have been in my house.
Anthony Jordan, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but if I'd been quicker down those stairs, if I'd caught you in my house, you would have had the fucking shit beaten out of you. You chose to jump in though my living room window. You chose to take that risk. Well that risk includes the chance of being caught by someone who doesn't want you to be there and who is ready to lay some heavy shit on you. I am one of those people. I wish I'd been quicker. I would have enjoyed fucking you up.
After being hammered by four tropical storms in two weeks, with over a thousand dead and more thousands stranded, Indonesia suspends logging.
There's a report here.
It wasn't so long ago that hundreds were killed in devastating mudslides which were also undoubtedly linked to the intensive deforestation. It's wonderful that finally something is going to get done about the idiotic damage being done to the country.
With any luck the rest of the world will start to sit up and take notice of the consequences of their actions.
There's a report here.
It wasn't so long ago that hundreds were killed in devastating mudslides which were also undoubtedly linked to the intensive deforestation. It's wonderful that finally something is going to get done about the idiotic damage being done to the country.
With any luck the rest of the world will start to sit up and take notice of the consequences of their actions.
A few dates for your diaries:
December 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
December 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 8 is Take It In The Ear Day
December 10 is Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
December 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 21 is Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flash-
light Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger
Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last
Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
December 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
December 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 8 is Take It In The Ear Day
December 10 is Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales
December 12 is National Ding-A-Ling Day
December 18 is National Roast Suckling Pig Day
December 21 is Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flash-
light Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger
Day
December 26 is National Whiners Day
December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last
Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Meet Stew
Well, I want to call him Stew. C wants to call him something like Zillah or Satan, spawn of ancient evil or George Bush, A wants to call him Smudge and B is traumatised because he'd rather hide in his bedroom than come out and be chased around.
Turns out, it was just too cold at the North Pole, so Santa sent an elf to bring him round early. Isn't that nice?
Turns out, it was just too cold at the North Pole, so Santa sent an elf to bring him round early. Isn't that nice?
Monday, November 29, 2004
A bit of fun: Astrological Post-Coital comments
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry -- pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
Taurus: "I'm hungry -- pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
We've been in the news! And helped lower the crime rate in the area to boot:
Way to go, us!
Nov 18 2004
By Paul Beard, Evening Mail
A teenager who broke into a nursing home in the middle of the night to steal food from the kitchen carried out further burglaries after being granted bail.
Anthony Jordan, aged 18, of Kimpton Close, Druids Heath, Birmingham, was sentenced to two and a half years detention.
He had pleaded guilty to three charges of burglary and asked for five others to be taken into consideration.
Neil Chawla, prosecuting, told Warwick Crown Court that police went to The Green nursing home, in Wharf Road, Kings Norton, at 3.50am and found Jordan in the kitchen stealing food. He admitted climbing in through the window to get food, adding that he wanted to be arrested so he could sleep in a cell for the night.
Jordan was granted bail, and on November 1 a couple were in bed at their home in [Deleted], Kings Norton, when they heard banging downstairs and the dog barking.
As the man (that's me, folks!) made his way downstairs to investigate, his partner (the delectable C) looked out of the window in time to see the intruder climbing out of a window and escaping with property including a digital camera and two mobile phones.
When officers arrived she was taken out in a police car to search the area and saw Jordan crouching behind a car.
He ran away, leaving behind a DVD player and other property he had taken during a burglary at a house 300 yards away in [Deleted], but was found hiding behind a wall.
Because Jordan, who had a previous conviction for house burglary, had pleaded guilty to the nursing home raid in the magistrates court before being committed to the crown court, the later offences became his third conviction for domestic burglary.
As such, he was facing a minimum sentence of three years, but Mr Grego asked for him to be given credit for his early guilty pleas.
Sentencing Jordan, Judge Richard Bray said: "There must be a sentence of three years imprisonment now, but I give you a 20 per cent discount for your guilty plea."
Way to go, us!
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Happy Samhain! The Feast of the dead, a time for communing with our passed-on forebears.
The usual description from Byzant Scriptorium:
The usual description from Byzant Scriptorium:
Samhain is the time of the third and final harvest when, in earlier days, cattle were brought in from summer pastures. Excess livestock was slaughtered and the meat smoked or salted for winter. Samhain is a time for divination and honoring the dead, for the veil that divides the mundane and subtle realms is considered to be particularly insubstantial on this day.
To the Celts, this was the Feast of the Dead and the Night of the Wild Hunt. Samhain marked the Celtic New Year and was the most important of the festivals. As with other festivals, Samhain is not constrained by the artificial midnight to midnight divisions of modern conception, and it is usually considered as starting at sundown on October 31st and ending at sundown on November 1st. Thus much of the celebration of Samhain does occur at the most appropriate time: Halloween.
The Christian tradition treats Samhain as a Festival of the Dead too, with the souls of departed saints remembered on 1st November (All Saints' Day), and those of the non-canonized dead the following day (All Souls' Day). The Church established All Saints' Day in the seventh century when the Pantheon in Rome was consecrated as the Church of the Blessed Virgin and All Martyrs, recasting both the Festival of the Dead and the Temple to All Gods in terms of Christian theology.
Samhain is a time to look back to the past and forward to the future. It is beneficial to reflect on those you have known and the experiences you have shared, as well as to take the time to view the possibilities ahead of you. Samhain is a profound time of the year, offering the opportunity of understanding.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
You're a half and half!? That means your the
perfect witch! Your good side balances your
bad! Way to go!
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
brought to you by Quizilla
Congratulations you have achieved level 4 witch
status... you have studied hard and learned
well!!
What Level of Witch are you
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, October 15, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
Sunday, September 26, 2004
From Lordoftherings.net :
Lord of the Rings: Return Of The King
DISCS 1-2: The Feature
FEATURE (approx. 250 minutes) - A new version of the final installment in the epic trilogy! The Academy-Award® winning film now has 50 minutes of never-before-seen footage incorporated into the film for this highly-anticipated video release:
DISCS 3-4: The Appendices
Two discs with hours of original content including multiple documentaries and design/photo galleries with thousands of images to give viewers an in-depth behind-the-scenes look at The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King::
THE APPENDICES PART V: "The War of the Ring"
THE APPENDICES PART VI: "The Passing of an Age"
Lord of the Rings: Return Of The King
DISCS 1-2: The Feature
FEATURE (approx. 250 minutes) - A new version of the final installment in the epic trilogy! The Academy-Award® winning film now has 50 minutes of never-before-seen footage incorporated into the film for this highly-anticipated video release:
 |  | Widescreen (2.35:1) version of the Special Extended Edition |
| | Dolby Digital EX 5.1 Surround Sound |
| | DTS ES 6.1 Surround Sound |
| | Stereo Surround Sound |
| | English subtitles and closed captions |
| | Spanish subtitles |
|
| Four audio commentaries by the director and writers, the design team, the production team and the cast featuring more than 30 participants including Peter Jackson, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom and Academy Award® winners Richard Taylor, Howard Shore…and many more. |
|
| Cast commentary also features dialogue between split-personality characters Gollum and Smeagol (Andy Serkis)! |
DISCS 3-4: The Appendices
Two discs with hours of original content including multiple documentaries and design/photo galleries with thousands of images to give viewers an in-depth behind-the-scenes look at The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King::
THE APPENDICES PART V: "The War of the Ring"
| | Disc intro by director Peter Jackson | |||||||||
| | "J.R.R. Tolkien: The Legacy of Middle-earth" documentary | |||||||||
|
| From Book to Script:
| |||||||||
|
| Designing and Building Middle-earth
| |||||||||
|
| Design Galleries - 2,123 images
| |||||||||
| | "Home of the Horse Lords" documentary | |||||||||
|
| "Middle-earth Atlas: Tracing the Journeys of the Fellowship" interactive map | |||||||||
| | "New Zealand as Middle-earth" interactive map w/on-location footage |
THE APPENDICES PART VI: "The Passing of an Age"
| | Disc intro by Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan | |||||||||
|
| Filming The Return of the King
| |||||||||
|
| Visual Effects
| |||||||||
|
| Post Production: Journey's End
| |||||||||
| | "The Passing of an Age" documentary | |||||||||
|
| Cameron Duncan: The Inspiration for "Into the West"
|
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